#━━☆ﾟ.*･ Sweet smiles written in reality {Real Face Claim}

[taeraemisu]

can you hear me? ; hanbin zb1

synopsis ; in which reader thought they were crazy when they start to heart a certain voice in their head, finding out their soulmate is universes away from them.

genre ; somewhat soulmates au, fluff but angst, different universes, the classic you-can-hear-your-soulmates-voice-in-your-head au

pairings ; hanbin x reader

word count ; 1.5k words

requested ! can be found here

a/n ; it’s been so long since i have written something how are yall doing :’)

reality 831 . .

you slumped on your chair, groaning. the assignments never end. day after day, you were constantly staying up till 2am in attempts to finish up your work. you were getting barely two hours of sleep, that is not healthy at all.

you glanced at your phone sitting beside the papers spread all over your desk. 2:53am.

that’s a new record.

you stretched your arms around. you told yourself to finish one more assignment and then take a break. classes doesn’t start till 8am for you so you still have a little time to squeeze in an hour worth of sleep.

you sat up straight, picking up your pencil and went back to staring at your brightly-lit laptop. you kept reading the same words over and over again, your eyes kept dropping every second. you fought against yourself, trying to stay awake. but—

‘hello? can you hear me? is this working?’

you instantly snapped your eyes open. what the hell?

that was not your own thoughts, was it? were you that tired that you were starting to hallucinate the sound of your own thoughts? you shook your head, snapping your laptop shut. you needed a break.

you lay down on your bed, too tired to think when—

‘is this too late … are you asleep?’

you opened your eyes. that voice, again. there was no way it was just a hallucination at that point, right?

‘why is my luck so bad, do i seriously have no soulmate?’

“soulmate?” you whispered to yourself. how was that possible? at that point, you knew that voice was not your own. it was a sweet, melodic voice. for a moment, there was silence. and you wished the voice came back. it was so soothing, so calm. a few seconds of him speaking could put you to sleep for a lifetime.

‘hello …?’

there was no response so you gave up. maybe it was just your tiredness. you have been sleeping rather late—

‘you heard me.’

‘so let me get this straight, soulmates exist?’

‘yes..? did you not know? it’s literally all everyone talks about.’

you finally figured out the tiny voice in your head, and for the first few weeks, you thought you were crazy. no one else had a voice claiming to be their soulmate, yet why was a strange little voice trying to convince you that he was yours?

‘soulmates don’t exist.’

‘i wouldn’t be talking to you if they didn’t.’

you scrunched your nose. you were on the bus, heading home and anyone looking at you would have thought you were crazy. you were making different facial expressions on your face. and you had a voice talking to you in your head.

insane.

‘i have never heard anyone talking about this before.’

‘really? it’s the one thing my parents have always been talking about. i have been trying for years and it finally worked.’

you tilted your head. maybe you should ask your own parents.

the bus came into a halt and you realised it was your stop. you quickly got up from your seat and got off the bus stop, still skeptical about this whole thing. he had a nice voice, you would give him that.

‘i must be crazy, there is no way this is real.’

‘i am real, i swear!’

reality 832 . .

‘yn, let’s meet!’

the both of you have been talking for over a month now. hanbin has slightly convinced you that soulmates do exist and that he is one hundred percent real, but you were still skeptical of everything.

so what better way to convince you than meeting up?

hanbin got no response, did he scared you away?

‘yn..?’

‘meeting up? you are crazy, sung hanbin.’

your laughter echoed around his head. he smiled at your reply. he had only been hearing your voice for the last month and he never knew he could be smitten from the sound of your laughter. he would gladly choose to hear just your laughter for the rest of his life.

‘what if we are living in different countries? do you not think?’

‘i work at ludia cafe, do you know that place?’

there was a moment of silence and hanbin was afraid he had scared you away. maybe you were looking up the cafe right now, maybe you both were actually living in different countries—

‘i live near there.’

hanbin immediately beamed and gathered his things. he could not wait to meet you.

‘can’t wait to see you.’

hanbin stood outside the cafe, looking around. he had no idea how you looked like, but he was sure that if he heard your laughter for even a second, he could recognise you right away.

his heart skips a beat whenever he spot a a figure approaching him, but his heart plummets when he realised it was not you.

‘hanbin, are you playing with me right now?’

‘no, i am waiting outside the cafe.’

it was silent for a few minutes. what happened to you?

‘are you sure you are outside?’

hanbin nodded even though no one else was around him to see it.

‘positive.’

‘i am outside right now and i see no one.’

hanbin found it odd. he was outside too but there was no one standing around besides a stray cat mindlessly walking around.

‘the bright blue sign of ludia is staring right at me—‘

hanbin’s eyes widen when he heard that. blue? he looked up to the signage above him. it was purple.

‘what? are you at the wrong place? the sign is purple.’

hanbin looked around. maybe you were colour blind? yet, there was no one else on the streets besides him.

‘what? there is a banner right in front of the store. they have hamster decorations all over the place—‘

hanbin tilted his head. that was literally the cafe he works at. it was as if you both were standing at the exact same spot, but at different points of time.

‘—and they have a poster of strawb—.’

‘—strawberry latte.’

hanbin finished your sentence and that is when it finally dawned on him.

you weren’t from his reality.

reality 831 . .

‘so your reality has soulmates, but mine doesn’t?’

‘seems like so.’

you pouted. why were you stuck in the boring reality?

‘that’s no fun.’

hanbin’s chuckle bounced around your head and you swear you could just faint at any moment. you wished you could just record his voice and keep it on replay for the rest of your life.

‘yet, how are you talking to me? shouldn’t you be talking to your soulmate?’

‘i guess i already am.’

you laid down in your bed, thinking. you and hanbin had tested the theory out, you both went to the same places over the past few weeks and you finally confirmed one thing.

hanbin is from a different universe.

it explained a few things, like how there were small differences between the places you both went to ‘together’. or how in his universe, the idea of soulmates actually exists while in yours, it was just a mere fantasy.

yet you both found each other.

though it was fun to talk to him, the fact you could not physically meet him frustrated you. he is your soulmate, yet how are you guys universes apart?

‘hanbin, i need to study right now. i can’t talk to you.’

you could imagine hanbin pouting and you had to resist the urge to tell the whole universe apart just to go over and see him.

‘i can still talk to you..’

‘i need to focus.’

it was silent for a moment before hanbin came back again.

‘okay, see you yn.’

reality 832 . .

hanbin pouted when he didn’t hear a response from you. even though he was so glad that he finally connected with his soulmate after so many years, yet, why did you have to be living so far away?

‘yn, are you there?’

no response.

‘can you hear me?’

he started to notice your replies were getting shorter and shorter. and you would go days and weeks without saying a word. what happened?

‘hanbin.’

hanbin almost leapt out of your seat when he finally heard your voice. it’s been weeks, where have you been?

‘what happened? were you busy with school?’

no response for the next few minutes and hanbin panicked again. oh no, were you going to disappear again?

‘can you hear—‘

‘we should stop this.’

hanbin blinked slowly. what? stop what?

‘this. us talking. it’s not.. good.’

his mouth went dry while he started to pace around his room. you were his soulmate, you both never physically even met. you both physically cannot ever meet.

‘what—‘

‘we don’t live in the same universe. we are so far, i cannot spend the rest of my life trying to talk to my soulmate through the voice of my head.’

hanbin stood still. it’s true, he has been thinking about it for a while. but, you were his soulmate. even if you both were universes apart.

‘i’m sorry hanbin. if only life gave you a better soulmate.’

‘that’s not true!’

hanbin protested but he heard no response.

‘i will find you yn, trust me on this. maybe there’s a yn that exists in my universe. maybe there’s a hanbin in yours. we can talk lesser! just don’t stop talking to me?’

you didn’t respond and hanbin ruffled his hair. he wanted to hear you for one last time. he would do anything to hear you again.

‘yn, can you hear me?’

your voice never came back.

© taeraemisu do not copy my works !

perm taglist ! (send an ask) ; @wtfhyuck

[twistedwonderlandimaginesblog]

Could I request the same but with

Jamil, Duece, Azul and Jade? 👉👈 😶

(I Love how you did Floyd❤❤ it was so sweet uwu)

Azul Ashengrotto:

Well, Azul can’t lie and say the first thing he thought about was how he might benefit from being a power couple with you. Magicless folk weren’t generally on his radar for business but he’s sure with your advice, he could probably wrangle in a few ideas that could return him a hefty profit. You can see the gears turning in his head and almost want to ask if he expects a dowry from your parents before dating but you bite your tongue, wanting the positive response first before teasing him. To Azul there are other options to weigh, like your personalities and how well you got along, and of course whether or not he could foresee a future with you. He seems to think on it a moment longer than your anxiety likes but you’re relieved when he reaches his hand out to you, telling you that it’s a deal and you’ll have to strike the terms of the contract up a little later (Note to self: make sure Azul is aware this is a real relationship and not a business deal).

Deuce Spade:

Deuce is such a genuine person, his feelings always written across his face, so you’re not surprised that you can practically read every thought as you confessed to him. He started off looking quite serious but by the end he was a flustered mess, contemplating his response; you’re a little nervous that he’s trying to find the words to let you down easy but you’d have to accept it no matter what. You’re just as stunned as he is when he suddenly reached out to pull you into a hug, telling you (a little too loudly) that the merit of a person wasn’t based on whether they had magic or not. He found you to be a wonderful person regardless and he was happy to return his feelings, looking quite proud that he got all of that out with skipping a beat (though he begins to sweat when you stay in close proximity after your hug).

Jade Leech:

Jade is much like Floyd where he’s already claimed you as his, you just weren’t aware of it yet. He was quite interested in you overall, especially as a magicless human as it meant you lived an even more different life than him. He might have a few questions here and there but they’re never quite malicious, at least not towards you. He thinks you’re cute and endearing, cupping your face mid-sentence to interrupt the more self-deprecating part of your confession. He doesn’t want such a beautiful moment to be marred by your insecurities so he makes it clear, in his own way, that he’s quite fond of you and that that’s nothing to sneeze at. When you regain your ability to speak you finally spit out the words that he wants to hear, Jade giving a sharp smile as he tells you he’s been waiting quite a long time to hear those words from you.

Jamil Viper:

Jamil had to wonder if it’d be easier to love someone who didn’t have magic. He’d certainly have a leg up on them… And you continued to show your awe of his magical skills every day, since he was quite talented and did well in his classes. It’s almost an ego stroke to have a lover like that but he does take a step back, wondering if the realities of his own situation would allow for him to properly care for someone. A relationship was a commitment but he already had one of those, an unwilling one but one that had to be fulfilled; he doesn’t quite turn you down but he does let you know that it wouldn’t be easy to date someone like him. You don’t seem put off at all, the natural glow radiating off your successful confession making Jamil’s heart skip a few beats. Considering not just anyone could do such a thing to him… maybe you were more magical than you thought.  

[harryandmeghansussex]

EPISODE 1.

Nice disclaimer that all interviews were complete August 2022 aka pre his Granny's passing.

"Members of the Royal Family declined to comment on the content within this series”

Opening with H march 2020 is a powerful choice too, before going to Meghan in Canada with H in London.

"I just really want to get to the other side of all of this" 💔

This feels more about the media than personal about the family, which many of us had presumed honestly.

The tiny glimpses of the children in general with no real focus on them is a sweet touch.

Lolololololol at H&M being shown the clip of Meghan being asked William or Harry. "Honey, I'm sorry. of course I'd choose you."

"I think this love story is only just getting started"

The ~why did you want to make this documentary?~ I think is such an important question and one I'm glad got asked early on.

That shot of H with Archie, the pure contentment in Harry's eyes. Oh those children have been a big part of his healing.

Harry talking about consent in regards to the child is an interesting one, especially as a child who grew up very visible and clearly choice were made for him that he historically hasn't agreed with.

I'm going to have to go through just to see all the photos again.

Meghan making the point people have written books about her that she doesn't know, doesn't it make more sense to hear from them.

Lindsay! Talking about their summer of freedom, when she then met Harry.

"And then came H. Talk about a plot twist."

They met on Instagram! Via a friend's video

She didn't know who Prince Haz was, so asked if she could see his feed. Which we got to see a glimpse of. She didn't googled him, she scrolled his feed. That's how you see someone, not what people say about them on Google.

Nice to see so many of Meghan's friends, for the girl the media has loved to claim doesn't have any.

The re-enacted text messages is a good touch.

H being late on their first day lolololololol and his face at her talking. She has his full attention always.

Having dinner the following night, and Meghan was late! Harry laughing at how flustered she was.

"you can be as late as you want, I'm not moving. I want to see you again." Oh H 😍

Meghan talking about that one photo, her smile.

Meghan mocking the fact Harry had a list of what he was looking for lolololololol. And Harry is NOT sharing the list, nice try.

Ah I knew Nacho would be in it, talking about Harry telling them he'd met a girl, maybe the one.

"she wanted to be in the moment. She wanted to get to know him for him, not who the public thought he was." Lindsay summing it up well.

Harry talking about Royal men, and the temptation to marry someone than fits the mold, rather than the person they are destined to be with. WOW.

Making decisions with your head or your heart, before mentioned his Mother and her making decisions with her heart. "And I am my Mother's son."

Clips of baby Harry and his first public appearance, with Harry talking about there not being a classroom with his Grandmother in front telling them what it's like to be Royal.

Him talking about blocking about memories of his Mum is sad, but always remembering her laugh.

"What am I? Who am I? What am I part of?"

James Holt speaking, with Archewell and Palace spokesman labelled under him.

I'm glad they're chosen to put experts in - makes it less reality show and more documentary which I think it needed to be.

Oh they included the Panorama interview. "I think we all know now she was deceived into giving that interview but she spoke the truth about her experience".

Harry talking about the similarities between Meghan and his Mum. "The same compassion, and empathy and confidence. She has this warm about her."

Oh the clip of Archie and Granny Diana's photo.

"I didn't want history to repeat itself..."

The clip from Earl Spencer's speech after Diana's death, that the media have blood on their hands is a powerful choice to include to. Reemphasises Harry's fears all along.

Nicky - one of H's childhood friends included. Talking about walking behind Diana's coffin was the moment people began to think they knew Harry more than they did.

Them including Harry fighting the paps back in the day 🙈

Prince Seiso! Talking about Harry being willing to learn, not being there to tell. An immediate connection to just not each other but the community. He is his mother.

Harry saying that they are brothers.

He has a Lesotho name, which means "warrior." A warrior in spirit and in character.

Harry talking about what Lesotho gave him, it's very much his other home and it was critical to share with Meghan.

The happiness in the Botswana photos is just so so clear.

Abigail Spencer's pure laugh when she was talking about Meghan sharing he was in love with Prince Harry.

"it's not about who you trust, it's about who they trust" - I'd never thought of it like that but it makes total sense.

Their last Halloween of fun, knowing the news would break the next day. Eugenie & Jack! Such fun and then....

Boom. All the headlines.

Wow they've managed to pack a lot in to just one episode.

[teyuteyuucuki]

Nectar of Amity

Website: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7098664/1/Nectar_of_Amity

(now Deleted)

Alternate universe Kira Win

Rated : R18

Title: Nectar of Amity

Website: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7098664/1/Nectar_of_Amity

Raito stared at the lined pages splayed open before him on the desk, his eyes almost reflexively admiring the neat, meticulous rows of print written in graceful penmanship. Some were black, others a stark blood-red, but each carried a common thread of resemblance; Kira showed no mercy. And indeed, that was made clear by the sprawling names. Criminals all over the world fell to their knees at Kira's triumph, hearts giving out in compliance with his glory. Oh, triumph. It had been so sweet. Those deserving of punishment, the justice system, and even L himself; they had all fallen to his whims. He was Kira, God of the New World. What he wanted, he gained.

Rather…that should've been the case…

His forefinger ran down the spine of the notebook, brushing the curve of an inked K. It looked so different from all the other letters, because Kira cleansed the world no longer by himself, and in reality hadn't for many years now. He had a messiah, someone in the wings ready to hearken to his very beck and call. Half of the regal penmanship before him was not his to claim, and Raito eyed it with a tender smile. Mikami Teru. So many years ago, his darling lover, under strict orders, had come to the Yellowbox Warehouse and struck down the foolish members of the SPK. Pitiful Near, he was a poor successor to L. L had been an equal. L would've kept closer tabs on the notebooks, and Kira's proxy. But Near could never have been L. Too young, and far less superior. He'd never considered that Raito might have ordered his beloved follower to keep a few spare pages of the Death Note on him at all times, and that those pages were what he was to use to deliver punishment onto those who had dared challenge Kira.

Because of Mikami Teru, everything had gone exactly as planned.

The SPK, Light's own task force; they had all died. Near had been the only one left, also on Raito's orders. And what a treat it'd been, to see the horror break that damn albino's face. He'd been beaten, defeated by Kira. That in itself was almost enough to make Raito writhe with pleasure. Almost. Writing Near's real name on the Death Note, offered on bended knee by his follower, had sent fire rushing through his veins. It was intoxicating, pleasure in its highest form.

He and Teru had fucked after that, Raito basking in the glory of his new triumph. He was God. No one could defeat him.

"And no one evil will," he murmured. Closing the notebook, he walked to the open window and gazed out at the setting sun. Of course, with his task force and SPK dead, he'd had to make several new arrangements if he wanted to maintain his role as Kira. Others would've taken the investigator's place, and while none could have Near or Mello's intelligence, they would've been a nuisance. So one burning warehouse later, he and Teru were packing their bags and heading to America. All the police would've found, if had they taken the time to look, were dusty ashes. A video hidden in a packing crate outside, planted by Raito's own hand, dictated that it was Kira's power that had sentenced everyone in the warehouse to death. Near, the SPK, the task force, and Raito himself, as well as the latest Kira suspect.

"They were enemies of Kira. Criminals. I can allow no one to ruin the new world I have fought to create. Let their deaths be a warning to you all."

Raito smiled, the words sending a tingling familiarity down his spine.

Forged paperwork, fresh identities; he'd had them all ready. A bank account had been carefully siphoning funds from the task force budget for years, and by the time they were on the plane, it was filled with more than enough money to keep him living in relative comfort for the rest of his life. Him and Teru both. After all, the loss of such a dedicated follower would've been a high nuisance. Smiling thoughtfully, the brunette leaned on the railing, eyes sweeping the shrouded covering of trees masking his home. He and his dear proxy had been careful in the purchase of their new residence, choosing one outside a sleepy, wooded little town deep in California. He enjoyed his privacy, and the woods had offered just that. And luckily, no one even bothered to question the two beautiful males living together, all by themselves. Then again, it was California.

Years later, and things hadn't changed. His plan had gone off without a hitch, the world was protected and governed by Kira's might, and he was alive and well. Everything had gone "Exactly as planned." Raito purred, watching the sun set behind the trees. Golden rays filtered through the green leaves, casting the two story home in faint shadow. A stray beam caught his eyes, morphing them into molten gold pooled in rust. Those very eyes were one of the many things that Teru claimed to adore.

Sighing, Raito let them flutter closed, a faint breeze tickling his bangs and bringing with it the perfume of the night that was slowly descending. Nights like this had come and gone for many years, and he shivered, missing the feel of long, muscular arms. They were so strong, yet gentle. He'd all but come to depend on their warmth and strength…and their protection.

….perhaps he was wrong. Things hadn't gone as planned, not exactly.

It had started small. First went his constant need to stress. There simply….was no need to worry anymore. He was cautious with the killings of criminals, of course, but that was practically second nature. He didn't need to think about it, or worry. For the first time in his life, Raito had been able to relax. The weight of life's struggles had been replaced with calm serenity. And as he'd melded into the soft countryside, enjoying the weightless feeling of true peace, Raito had begun to notice something new. A new sensation unfurling in his chest, brought on by the dark eyes and pale skin he saw day in and day out.

Mikami Teru. His servant, messiah….but that had changed as well. Raito had never denied that there was a sexual chemistry between he and the older male. On the contrary. He'd used it to his benefit, manipulating Teru in every which way to further his plans. At the end of the Kira case, he had taken the lawyer with him to America, planning to continue his use of him to punish criminals. Instead, the calming atmosphere had settled his spirit, driving away those thoughts. And where once there had been carefully planned looks of seduction, a lusty whisper in his servant's ear, Raito had found himself blushing at the soft gazes and caresses Teru threw his way. His resolve weakened.

He was Kira. God of the New World, and deliverer of justice. Yet the emotions kindled beneath his skin….surely they were nothing a god should be feeling?

Tapping the window with his fingertips, he smiled and caressed the polished mahogany. Those had been his very thoughts back those few years ago, and occasionally, like today, he still catered to them. But Raito recognized one thing, more now than he ever had before; his humanity. He was a god, but he was also human. He was allowed to have feelings. More importantly….

"Raito?"

He didn't bother turning around. "Teru…" strong arms, the very ones he'd been craving, slid around his waist. Raito felt warmth radiating against his back, and he leaned against a sculpted chest, the thin fabric of his lover's shirt barely masking taut muscles.

"What're you doing," Mikami murmured, resting his palms against Raito's abdomen. "Admiring the sky again?"

"Hai. It's quite a beautiful sight."

The older male nodded. "Indeed it is." A gentleness possessed his voice, making Raito's cheeks flush with warmth. He smiled and turned in Teru's arms, only to see dark brown eyes gazing down at him. His pale lips were quirked in an affectionate grin, and Raito chuckled, sliding his hand through a silky swatch of ebony hair.

"You always had a fine eye."

Mikami's smile widened. "I certainly think so." He gently pried Raito's hand from his hair, bringing it to his lips. "Has the sky given you enough entertainment for the evening?"

Raito stared at his hand, held so lightly in the tall man's grip. Then his eyes swept up and admired the pale features he'd come to adore over the years. Dark brows, slightly thicker than his own, framed narrow eyes shaded a rich shade of earthy brown. Thick lashes, though not as much as his own, gave the orbs a deceptively innocent appearance. They were a perfect match to thin lips and high cheekbones, and Raito purred under his breath. Mikami Teru was quite gorgeous. And he was all his. "Perhaps…" he unfurled his fingers, brushing one across Teru's lower lip. "Have you something better to offer me, Teru?"

"If it pleases you. I was considering retiring for the evening." Mikami kissed his fingertips. "I took the liberty of preparing some minor refreshments. Champagne, freshly cut fruit." His mouth descended lower and pressed to Raito's palm. "I turned down the sheets as well, though I did add an extra blanket. It is slightly chilly out." The arm still around Raito's waist gave a gentle squeeze, and a large palm touched his lower back, nothing but tenderness in Mikami's gaze. "Raito…..I hope this isn't impertinent of me to say, but I crave your touch." He flushed delicately, pecking his knuckles. "I would be honored if you would join me."

The touch was gentle, and it radiated with pure affection. Raito couldn't help but shiver, auburn eyes gleaming thoughtfully as he contemplated the older man. Long ago, what Teru had suggested would have been considered blasphemous to them both…though in truth, the darker haired male was likely still hesitant to ask anything of him. Raito had always punished him for anything he deemed insolent, brutally and without thought. Emotion was something that their relationship could not afford.

Funny how things had changed.

Raito gently detangled his hand from Teru's. They were barely recognizable when compared to their past selves, save for the yearning to create a new world, and ultimately his role as Kira, Teru's as his messiah. That hadn't changed. Everything else had. "Teru…" reaching up, he carded fingers through silky black strands, savoring their smoothness. "Tell me, beloved. Were you planning on feeding me this fruit?" Raito quirked his lips, giving a soft chuckle. "Quite an alluring idea."

Mikami blinked, surprise bright in his eyes. "Oh…o-of course! Anything to please you, Raito."

…..he'd only been kidding. But the following look of sheer delight on his lover's face was too good a thing to destroy. "That sounds like a marvelous idea. The sky was beginning to bore me anyway." He started to shut the window, then smiled and left it be. The night air was refreshing. "Teru?" A soft note of lust dripped onto the name, smooth and rich as honey. "You'll have to release me, if you planned on us spending a night in bed together." Raito patted the hand on his back, cocking a brow.

"Forgive me. I'm just…intoxicated by your presence." Unwinding his arms, Mikami looked hesitant, glancing from Raito to the ajar door to their bedroom. "Raito…..would it be too much if I-?" He drifted off, soundlessly looking at the brunette. Raito's brow arched further.

"Teru? You needn't fear persecution. If you have a request, speak up."

The blush tinting pale cheeks only grew darker, and Mikami looked down at the floor, murmuring quietly, "I only feared that you might be tired. With your permission, I would like to carry you to bed."

Raito stared at him, flutters of warmth seeping into his chest. Such an innocent request….yet it spoke more than words ever could. "Is that it?" Nose in the air, Raito laughed and crossed his arms, looking every bit a haughty prince. A fair statement, considering his androgynous features. "It would be much appreciated. I confess, I am beginning to feel somewhat tired. So long as it doesn't strain yourself, Teru, I see no reason not to grant your request."

"Truly?" Teru was beaming with pleasure. Raito nodded, looking expectant.

"Well?"

"Yes Raito." Mikami gently slid an arm under Raito's legs, and the brunette nuzzled close as he was lifted off the ground, a golden hand fisting Teru's shirt. He was always comfortable in his lover's arms. "Would you like to change before bed?" He carried the younger male into the bedroom, holding him close to his chest. Raito laid his head on Mikami's shoulder, mahogany tresses rolling down the soft cotton of his shirt. "

"That would be preferable." Raito spotted the neatly folded pile of clothes resting on the bed. Silken pajamas, shaded a deep red that brought out his eyes. They'd been a gift from Teru for his last birthday. For someone who didn't pay much attention to fashion, his lover had known exactly what to get him. But when it came to his god, only the best was good enough. Leaning over in his arms, Raito fingered the soft material. "You'll have to put me down, Teru."

The dark haired man did so with a nod, stepping back away from the bed. "I'll let you change. Feel free to relax once you're finished. I'll go get the refreshments." He paused, glancing at Raito, and with a soft smile kissed him on the cheek. "Try not to run off."

"That was the farthest thing from my mind," the brunette murmured, watching him leave the room. Teru was still so shy, even after all their years together. He found it rather adorable, in an innocent way. Strange though, that someone so shy could be such a passionate lover. Raito shivered at the thought, removing his lightweight sweater. There was no need for extravagant fashion here; a typical day was spent in comfortable pants and a loose shirt, and usually bare feet. Some habits just couldn't be broken.

He was in the process of removing his pants when the familiar warmth radiated at his back, the clacking of utensils and scent of fruit further telling of his lover's returned presence in the room. "I wasn't sure if you would prefer wine or champagne, so I brought both," Teru touched his hand, halting its work of removing his pants. "Which would you prefer first?"

Raito glanced at him over his shoulder. "That depends. What fruit did you bring?" His stomach flipped at the feel of warm fingers touching his waist, and he fought to control it. It wouldn't do for himself to get so excited, so quickly.

If Mikami noticed his sensitivity, he didn't make it obvious. "Your tastes are so ranged, I brought a selection of your favorites. Grapes, apple slices, peaches, and fresh pear." Giving the brunette a tender look, he turned him around and unbuckled Raito's belt, taking care to keep it from falling to the floor. Raito was ready to protest; after all, he was more than capable of undressing himself. But there was no perversion behind the act. It was a move done out of love, nothing more. "…Raito?" Teru's fingers, already halfway through the process of pulling his zipper down, immediately halted at the pondering look on golden features. Raito had barely noticed him crouching on the floor, he was so far off in his own thoughts. "Gomen. I should have asked for your permission first….."

"No, you're fine," Raito spoke soothingly, caressing black hair. "You caught me off guard, nothing more." Hesitant, Mikami pulled his zipper down completely, and Raito's gaze went dewy as soft fabric brushed a line down his hips. "Thank you, Teru. Your assistance is always enjoyed." He stepped out of the pants and picked them up, folding his shirt and them together in a neat stack.

"You're pleased?" Mikami offered him his pajamas, and Raito slipped into the silken bottoms. They were glorious against his skin. His partner had chosen well.

"Pleased? No." Chuckling at his utter look of devastation, Raito lowered himself to the bed and curled a finger at the male. "Join me." He relaxed against the countless pillows muffling the headboard, caramel eyes falling half mast. "Only then will I be pleased."

The delight that flashed across his lover's face was bright enough to challenge the sun. He eagerly picked up a silver tray from the soft duvet standing in the corner, and Raito's expression shifted to a happy smile as Mikami set the tray down on the sheets, offering a chilled glass of wine. "Thank you." He took it and sipped the rich liquid with a content purr, glancing the tray over; sliced fruit, all arranged neatly on a china plate, and two tiny dishes filled to the brim with golden honey. "You've outdone yourself, Teru," he took a piece of apple. "This really wasn't necessary."

"On the contrary. I found it very necessary. How else was I to lure you to bed so early in the evening?" Letting out a soft laugh, Teru unbuttoned his simple dress shirt. "Your sleeping schedules are far from normal, beloved."

Eying his undressing lover, Raito dipped the fruit into one of the cups, golden honey oozing down the tart flesh. "Yes, well, justice sometimes demands sacrifices." He bit into the apple, and a pleasured sigh escaped his lips. He wasn't a fan of sweets by any mean, but honey contained natural sugar, and it blended peacefully with the delicate taste of apple. Sweet, tart, and so very delicious.

"I take it you like the fruit?" The bed dipped beside him. Holding a glass of champagne, Mikami leaned over and touched pale fingertips to his chin, turning his face towards him. Raito nuzzled into the touch, sweeping his free hand through the sways of dark hair caressing ivory flesh. Teru had chosen to go shirtless, like himself, and the strands tickled his shoulder blades, feathered and so very soft. Good. He preferred him shirtless. He had a muscular lover, due to his treks to the gym, and it was always a pleasure to run his hands over their hard curves.

"The fruit is delicious." Raito pressed himself closer to the older male, taking another sip of wine. "I suggest the apple." He chuckled quietly; oh the irony. Ryuk would have a fit.

"I'm sure the apple is delicious." Slender fingers plucked a piece of pear from the plate. Cheeks a shade darker than rose, Mikami held it to Raito's lips. "If I may make a suggestion, Raito…" he nudged the tip between caramel lips, "take a bite."

Raito glanced at the piece of fruit. It smelled sweet, fresh. "Alright…" he parted his lips and teethed the soft flesh, biting down. He liked pears, Teru knew that….so why the insistence? His curiosity must have shown, because the male gently took his chin in a soft grip, keeping his mouth open.

"Trust me." Mikami held up one of the dishes of honey. "You'll enjoy this, I hope."

He had a growing understanding of where this was going. Raito touched his wrist, angling the bowl to let a few drops of honey cloud his tongue. "Very good." With a faint smile, the dish was taken away. Raito started to chew the sweetened mass in his mouth, but halted when Teru nudged the bottom of his glass, urging it upwards. Wine too? He blinked, slightly confused, but took a few swallows of the rich liquid. He wasn't expecting the explosion of flavor on his tongue, and it drew an appreciative murmur from his lips. "Do you like it?" Mikami looked relieved when he nodded, brown eyes wide with content. "I feared you wouldn't. After all, you have stated your disapproval for sweets."

"No, it's wonderful." Raito swallowed, dipping the remaining piece of apple into the honey and popping it into his mouth, taking a swallow of wine. Again, the orgasmic taste seemed to overpower his senses, a wash of warmth caressing his limbs and making him relax against the pillows. "Teru, this was a lovely idea."

Hand halting above a section of juicy peaches, Mikami looked at him. "I'm honored that you think so, Raito. I had hoped it would please you. Your happiness means everything to me."

"Mmm." A murmur of approval, and he plucked one of the peaches from the plate. Raito saw the flickers of lust beginning to spark the darkness of Teru's irises with flecks of gold; it pleased him, and a smirk curled his lips. But other than those hints of pleasure, his love wasn't reacting at all, even when he licked at a spare drop of honey that had marred the corner of his mouth. Usually such miniscule actions were enough to drive his attentive boyfriend wild with need. Yet tonight…nothing.

That just wouldn't do.

Raito chuckled to himself, straightening up. He fully admitted he was a selfish being, but really, who could blame him? He was God, Kira…and he had a very sexy man in his bed. Those two together were a very dangerous combination. And more importantly, he always got what he wanted. Always. "Teru?" He brought the sliced peach to his lips, making a show of running his tongue across the fruit. Mikami visibly shivered, watching him.

"Y-yes?"

Faking a stern countenance, he scooted closer to Teru on the bed, glimpsing a peek of the goose bumps studding his naked arms. Much better. "You haven't tasted anything for yourself," he purred. "I know it's important to pleasure me, Teru, but you should cater to your own needs too, as well as my own."

"And-what would please you," Mikami stammered. Raito pouted at him, devouring the peach.

"Didn't I say that you needed to cater to your own needs?" Not waiting for a response, he held up a fresh piece of fruit, this one coated with honey. "I don't care for peaches. You chose these for yourself, Teru. And that is perfectly fine," Raito held up his free hand, halting any apologies the fairer skinned male was considering giving. "I would rather you make choices for yourself." Things were different than before. They could afford mistakes, at least minor ones. And Teru, therefore, had free rein. Sadly, hands had remained locked in his belt loops, so to speak anyway. Too many options made him uncomfortable. Raito could certainly understand that. He suffered the same ailment, though on a far lower plane than the older man. Even so, some options were more than ok to have. 'Teru…..beloved…" sprawling legs on either side of his, Raito leaned up, their height difference making the top of his head barely reach Teru's chin. Again he was thankful, however, when Teru moved closer his head down. He did hate being towered over…well, so long as it was outside of bed. "Tell me what you want."

Glancing from him to the fruit, Mikami tentatively parted his lips. "I would like to…pleasure you, Raito."

"Pleasure me," he repeated, rubbing sticky peach and honey across Teru's mouth. They glimmered golden, a beautiful contrast to ivory flesh, and Raito grinned as a tongue snaked out to lap them away. "You're well on your way to doing that, no worries." He pressed the peach to pearly teeth, juices oozing out and staining the elder's jaw. Mikami grimaced at them, but took a bite. "…..point proven…" Raito watched his mouth, the lurch between his legs growing more urgent. "Teru…"

Swallowing the peach, Mikami looked him over. A moment of confusion, and then…understanding. "Raito." Taking his hand, he glanced at slick fingertips with a growing smile. "If you wish it, then I am more than happy to comply."

"I se-ahh….." Raito groaned deep in his throat. His fingers were engulfed in Teru's mouth, a tongue sweeping across and between his knuckles. Saliva mingled with the juice from the pears, moistening golden flesh as Teru suckled gently, dark eyes watching the brunette's face for reactions. He seemed pleased by what he saw, and teeth began nipping at his fingertips, making Raito press closer and thumb his bottom lip, gaze smoldering. "You do that well," he muttered, shivering as his hand was pulled away.

"Practice, Raito. You've allowed me plenty of time to perfect my skills." Teru swiped his thumb across glistening skin. "And honestly, I would love a chance to master others."

Raito glanced at his captive hand, lips melting into a lusty purr. "Would you now….and if I were to grant you rights to do so?"

Mikami touched his shoulder, making him lean backwards until his bare back touched the sheets . "I would make full use of the honor." One hand cupped Raito's face, the other pressing to his pajama clad hip and squeezing lightly. "Do I have permission, Raito?" He leaned over him, tenderly tucking a strand of auburn behind his ear. Surprised, Raito blinked thoughtfully and turned his head to the side, lips touching the large palm cradling his cheek. Permission….such a thought was completely laughable. The time for that was long gone, and had been for many years. Teru truly didn't even need to ask anyway; he enjoyed everything the darker brunette did to him.

"The fact that you're wasting time displeases me," he murmured against smooth skin. Sliding his foot down the sheets, Raito toed the lengths of silk making up Teru's sleeping pants, flashing him a becoming grin. "You always have my permission, love. Not that you even need it." Elbows lifting him off the bed, his lips nudged the flesh between pale pectorals, and Raito eyed him cattily beneath rusty gold bangs. "I want you to pleasure yourself, by pleasuring me. If you believe I'll enjoy something, then do it. There are no boundaries here, Teru." He pulled Mikami down by his chin, piercing a dark gaze with his own. "Do as you please."

Surprise wrinkled his brow. "As I please?" Gaze shifting to the tray of fruit, and the discarded glasses of wine and champagne, Mikami pecked him on the lips. "Very well."

And so it'd begun.

The wine was plucked first, and he offered it to the brunette, glass rim touching the crease of his lips. Raito swallowed without thinking, setting it aside. Mikami patted his cheek, fingers taking the time to scope out the feel of his jaw and cheekbones, before he kneeled on the bed. "You are fond of apples," he picked up a slice, admiring the crisp flesh. "Rather plain." Caramel all but melted across the fruit as he poured some onto the flat curve, making it tacky. "Much better. It matches your eyes now."

"So it does…" Raito reached for the piece, almost pouting when Teru pushed his hand aside. "Don't I get a taste?"

"Of course you do. I would be cruel to deny you a favored treat." What could only be described as a smirk slid across Teru's lips. He popped one corner of the fruit between them, holding it steady, and bent over the gaping brunette. The other end of the apple touched Raito's mouth, and he rubbed his tongue across it, sticky caramel sweet and spicy. Mikami pushed it a bit more forcefully, fingers still stroking golden cheekbones in gentle swipes. "Raito.." murmuring, though somewhat awkwardly, he dragged the apple tip across Raito's tongue.

A game of seduction was it? Raito pulled the fruit into his mouth, growling as caramel and peach, brought by Teru's tongue, filled his every sense. Together they were a sinful blend of taste and pleasure, and he fisted his hands into pitch black locks, hips rolling tightly against the older male's. "Delicious…..but I believe I prefer the taste of you." In fact…Raito smirked, scooting down the bed. His lips tickled the naked line of Teru's chest, and he parted them to graze teeth across a pale pink nipple.

"Raito….."

Suckling the nub, he rolled his tongue around it and pinched the tip with a sharp canine, hearing the moans of pleasure above him. Teru did always say his mouth was a gift. "Do you like this," he sank lower on the bed, mouth warm against the span of flesh above Teru's navel. The older shuddered, palms flat on the bed, and nodded.

"It's hard to not enjoy what you're doing…"

Raito slipped his tongue into the well of flesh, wiggling it loosely. "I'm glad. Your pleasure is important to me." He wrapped an arm around Teru's thigh, holding himself steady, and mahogany bangs fluttered down his cheeks as he lolled his head back, lips turning up in a dark smile. "Very important…." Raito's eyes turned back to the rim of satin pants clothing Teru's hips. Thin, loose; he did so adore pajama wear sometimes.

Mikami moaned, torso lurching forward as the younger man took the waistband between his teeth and started nudging it down muscular thighs. Pity he wore boxers, but he was flexible. Perhaps this would even be an advantage. "What're you up to," Teru looked down at him, though it was painfully obvious. Raito smiled innocently, a feat that was remarkable considering his mouth was mere inches from the bulge in dark boxers.

"Me? Why Teru, I'm only doing what a good lover should." He breathed on the material covered skin, kneading his lips against it and tasting salt as it bled through the cloth. His hands started pushing the elastic, nails and fingertips hooking underneath.

"Nghh….no more."

A soft pressure awoke across the flesh of Raito's crown, and he gasped in blatant surprise as the hand forced him back down onto the bed. "H-what are you doing?" Raito kicked his heels against the sheets, scrambling back up the bed until the man was once again directly above him. "Teru, why did you stop me?" He struggled, keeping a whimper of irritation smothered under his pout. "I want to touch you."

Mikami didn't remove the hand from his hair. If anything, it tightened slightly. "No more, Raito." Pushing his head farther back, he admired the golden skin and lithe limbs trapped beneath him. "You said I was supposed to pleasure myself."

"By pleasuring me," Raito finished grabbing his wrist. He half considered clawing up his arm, halting only at the comforting purrs that touched his ear. "But Teru, I was happy touching you. There was no logical reason to stop!"

"I apologize, but I must disagree." One casual nip later and two large palms were grasping the brunette's thighs, wedging them apart. Teru patted one, fingertips rubbing the silk in slow, lazy patterns. Raito scowled at him, crossing his arms, and the older male sighed. "Raito, please don't look that way. I assure you, as much as I enjoy having you touch me, I want to do this. It pleases me. And you did want my to pleasure myself, yes?" He kissed the younger brunette, tongue seaming his lips with an innocent look from dark eyes. "Just lie back, relax. I relish any chance to touch you so…..freely." Right knee shifting, Teru palmed the limb it had freed, earning a sigh and flushed shudders from his lover.

"Very well…" Raito watched his knee and thigh be caressed, caramel eyes narrowing with pleasure. He forced his body to relax, head bumping the fingers tangled in his hair. "Please release me first though."

They slackened immediately, but Mikami held the satin tresses and kissed down the side of his face, keeping his head down against the pillow. Raito murmured his name, toes burrowing into the sheets. Teru was timid, always aiming to please, yet he had a mouth and tongue that were nearly as sinful as his own. And he used them well, if the lips on the hollow of his throat said anything. "Raito, I must ask you not to touch," Teru's free hand moved under his body, raising his lower half off the bed. Sputtering a protest, Raito looked at his hands; they were locked around ivory shoulders, nails teasing the flesh. He let them fall back to the bed, tearing silk sheets instead, and Mikami purred his approval. "Thank you. I can't focus if you're touching me. You are rather distracting."

Distracting? HIM? Raito laughed weakly. "I find that hard to belie-aahh….."

Pulling a cinnamon colored bud deeper into his mouth, Mikami pushed his torso higher, warm saliva clinging to flesh. Squirming and pulling at the sheets, Raito gasped as his nipple was teethed, kissed and suckled. "Oh Te-mmm…."

His mouth went lower, staining Raito's abdomen with feathery kisses. "Your sounds are pleasing to hear," he murmured, pushing satin pants down. Raito kicked them off, barely caring that the soft fabric landed in a heap on the floor. There was a time for obsessive compulsiveness. This was not it. "Stay still," Teru descended to his waist, golden flesh wet under his tongue. "I want to touch you, Raito. May I?"

He bit his lip. "You may…"

Boxers joined his pants on the floor, cotton mingling with black satin. "Then may I ask one more thing?" Teru's hand slipped from under his waist and descended between tawny thighs, knuckles brushing Raito's erection. He waited for a moan of approval from the brunette before cupping it fully, fingers tight around the velvet covered steel. "Raito…" looking up at him, Teru picked up a piece of dripping peach, droplets spilling onto the tan flesh and trickling down Raito's erection. "Don't overreact."

Raito yelped. It was cold, sticky; he hadn't felt anything like this in years. "Teru, what are you doing?" Kicking his feet, he squirmed backwards on the bed, staring in muted shock at his fair skinned lover. "T-Teru?"

"I did ask you not to overreact," Teru touched the fruit to his head, sticky precum mingling with the juice. "You'll be fine, Raito." Bending over his groin, he glanced up at him and smiled. "I have every intention of cleaning you up."

"O-ohhh….."

Warm lips squeezed flesh into his mouth, and Raito whimpered as a tongue traced the vein in his cock, teasing and prodding. God, but that felt amazing….he began reaching for the feathered hairs tickling his thighs, remembering only seconds before they touched that he wasn't supposed to. He groaned, closing them back in the sheets, and a dull pressure bled across his groin. Teru sucked on him, raising a thigh over his shoulder. "Teru…" Raito thrust his hips up, and they were pushed back down. Silent brown eyes seemed to scold him playfully as Mikami purred around him, the back of his throat touching leaking skin and rubbing away the salt and fruit. "Oh fuck, Teru, touch me," Raito keened, and the lips tightened, moving up and down his shaft tauntingly slow. He threw his head back and blushed bright red, staring heatedly through his bangs at the display.

Tighter, harder; Teru squeezed him with lips and tongue, driving the tip into his slit and marring it with the flavor of peach. Raito hissed through his teeth, clenching eyes shut, sweat trickling down his cheekbones and dripping his shoulders with tinged salt. As soon as his pleasure was at its peak Raito screamed, bucking into his mouth. He was so close…soooo close…. "More, more-" he gave up, grappling for his lover. Nails scratched pale flesh, and Teru did the unthinkable. He pulled away. "Wha-oh hell no," he wrapped his legs around the elder's shoulders, tugging at him. "Don't stop….please Teru, don't-"

Mikami only kissed him on his inner thigh. "I would never intentionally hurt you, Raito. Rest assured, I'm going to keep my word. I will pleasure you, beloved." And oh, how that pet name rolled off his tongue. Raito drew him down into a heady kiss, tasting himself on the brunette's lips. Teru licked his tongue, smoothing the hairs back from his brow and pressing his forefinger to the younger's chin, drawing it up. "Please."

Raito looked at it, parting his lips. The finger slid into his mouth, running across his teeth and tongue, and he sucked on it with a moan of pleasure. Peaches, apples; they tickled his taste buds, marred by the tang of salt. "Hnn," he held onto Teru's hand, drawing the digit deeper into his mouth. Mikami narrowed eyes at him, flushes of red hinting his nose and cheeks, and two more slid into the hot cavern of Raito's mouth, wetting themselves in warm saliva. Raito kissed their tips, nibbling the sweet flesh.

"….that's enough," Teru finally pried Raito's hand away from his wrist, slick fingers cool in the air. They curled, wiggling, and the brunette squeezed his heels into Teru's back.

"Teru…love…" he touched a palm to his alabaster chest, fingertips gliding across the muscles, and he arched backwards as the first pressured touch. "A-ahh….."

Pushing the digit deep inside him, Teru gently thrust it upwards, muscles clamping down tightly. "Calm down," he soothed his hand through burnt caramel strands, drawing Raito into a tender kiss. He grabbed him by the shoulders, deepening it. "Raito.." another pushed into wet heat, scissoring and stretching and sending tremors of pain up his spine.

"I-Itai…." he whimpered against Teru's mouth, tongue loosely circling in slick flesh. Teru frowned, angling his fingers upwards, and the result was a writhing brunette clutching at him, legs falling down to his waist. Holding his right thigh, the older male flexed his hand, repeated reactions meeting his approval. "Better-" Raito thrust himself against Mikami's palm, driving digits deeper. "Fuck, more-need more!"

He loved the feeling of Teru inside him. Fingers….arousal glazed irises flickered red, and Raito reached between his lover's legs, fingertips swirling around his cock. Something bigger….he'd always loved it, even when his moans of pleasure were nothing more than an act to enslave the older male to his side. Teru couldn't leave. He was the messiah, the right hand of God, and therefore had to be nothing but completely loyal to his cause. Raito's mouth parted in a groan, warm strands of spittle webbing his chin as Mikami pressed his cock to the tight ring of muscle keeping their bodies apart. He'd never thought of Teru as anything but a slave in the past…

Faint agony, then a tidal wave of intoxicating heat clouding his mind. "Oooohhhh…"

It was amazing how things had utterly changed. Masterminded plots transformed into sincere affections, employed by both parties. Mindful respect turned into mutual understanding, and eventually…..Mikami shoved into his depths completely, and Raito gasped his name, head thrown back and eyes wide. "T-Teru! Aishiteru!"

Hips stilled, the older brunette looking down at him quietly. For several moments there was nothing, save for his body's trembling and the soft pants on his lips. "….truly?" Reaching up, he turned Raito's face towards him, staring him down. "Raito….?"

"H-Hai." He nervously kissed Teru's hand, clasping it in his own. "You know this. I've told you before." His expression shifting to more erotic tones, Raito rubbed his knee down the pale side pressed against him, offering up a tiny smile. He made his affections known verbally, rarely but enough so that his lover understood. He adored him. There were no more boundaries. "I know you feel the same love. So please….." he rolled his hips, driving Mikami's erection back inside him and brushing his prostate.

"Please?" Teru pulled out. "Beloved, you never need to ask me for that. I always want you." He muttered that last part by his ear, and with a kiss on a golden cheek he thrust back into clenching muscles. A howl of unearthly proportions tore from Raito's throat, hands ripping black hair and driving Teru's mouth to his shoulder, where it sucked and bit into the caramel hued flesh. Raito clawed down his spine, groin taut to Mikami's and legs locked at the small of his back. Fuck, but it felt so unbelievably good! "Are you alright..?" Teru lapped at his clavicle, smearing it with peach hinted kisses.

"Ngh…" head back, neck bared to the touch, he nodded and rubbed their chests together, nipples rasping against pale flesh and making him groan. "More…Teru, more!"

The older male flushed harder. More? He grinded his cock into the unwavering heat, each time hitting a tender bundle of nerves deep inside the man. "I-if you wish…" Teru shoved himself harder, deeper. Raito grinned at him, rocking his backside in time with the thrusts. "Ah-R…Raito…" erection full inside him, he bent down and kissed the golden male. "Let me worship you…."

"Worship me?" Raito broke the kiss and suckled his throat. "Teru, don't be foolish." His legs twitched, holding him close, and he smiled lewdly through sweat slicked bangs. "You already are."

Mikami moaned, glints of a smile in his dark eyes. He drove himself harder, slamming caramel flesh with each thrust and grind, and the brunette on the bed voiced his arousal in a string of heavy mewls, lashes shielding his eyes and sticking to skin. Oh fuck, there it was again…..warmth churned in his groin, thrumming wildly through his cock. He almost went boneless, spine arching freshly off the sheets. Sure Teru wouldn't deny him again? "Love, I need it-"

Fingers touched his erection, milking the rigged rod. Raito melted into the touch, a blade of pleasure driving up his spine, the cock stretching his backside giving another delicious grind. Panting above him, Teru held his hips in his hands, fingers caressing the dips and curves as he pushed in again, stilling with head to nerves that sent his lover shrieking, nails ripping at cloth and flesh. "Cum," he whispered, smoothing a palm down his backside. Raito protested, his muscles holding the other's cock in a pulsing sheath. "Raito, I want you to. For me, please." Mikami pecked him on the hollow of his throat, tongue lapping sinuously. "Cum…"

Raito blushed. So innocent, and yet the soft note of pleading behind his voice was enough to make his toes curl. His cock gave another lurch, smearing fluid across Teru's stomach, and he moaned loud, ropes of white spurting forth and staining both their chests. "Te-ahh…" muscles clamped down and Teru held his shoulders, trembling hard as he came. There was heat, bundles of it. And then the orgasm was heady on the elder's face, angled features glistening under a sheen of sweat. Raito petted his hair, harsh tremors shaking both their forms, his own legs lurching softly before falling flat on the bed. "God…" his arms went next, and he dropped onto cool sheets, sighing in content.

"I'm looking at him," Teru quipped, somewhat breathless. Raito chuckled, patting his cheek.

"So you are." He flexed inner muscles, making them both groan.

"I won't let you out of bed if you keep that up." Tapping his inner thigh, Teru's sticky fingers smudged the white beads marring the otherwise pristine flesh of Raito's legs. Raito brushed his hand away, eyes half lidded and mouth wide with unsteady pants. How could Teru even be hovering over him like that? Glancing up his contrasting form, he saw the strain of muscles under the pale covering. Oh…of course. Him and his damnable-utterly hot-body. Sometimes he thought it bitterly unfair. He was God, Justice, yet it was his lover who possessed the ripped frame and six pack. "…or if you keep looking at me that way." Teru laughed, and undertone of content layering his voice. "Why are you staring so hard?"

Faking a pout, Raito ran a hand down his arm. "You're strong…" and damn it all, but he loved it. The way Teru's arms curled around him, holding him close, were far more precious to him now than they had ever been in the past. He loved it, adored it.

"I work out," he replied simply. "You know that." Teru wrapped them around him, holding the man close. Raito hesitated, nuzzling his chest, but the warmth was too inviting to deny. He all but sank into it, and Teru rolled onto his back, cradling him to his side and running fingers through his hair. "I want to take care of you."

"You are." Brushing lips up his nape, Raito felt an easy smile curving his lips. Warmth, pleasure…he pressed closer. If this was bliss, then he enjoyed it more than he could say. His role as Kira would always come first, but he was God, and therefore he made the rules. Love was his to command; if he wanted to sleep with his messiah, and care for him, then who was going to stop him? Especially when the feelings were reciprocated. Raito felt dark eyes turn down onto him, and he cradled Teru's neck in his hand, pulling him into a tender kiss. "You've always taken care of me."

Kissing back, Teru tucked a length of mahogany behind his ear. "I enjoy it."

Raito pecked his fingers. "You'll hear no complaints from me." Reaching over the darker brunette, back straining and raw with the familiar discomfort, he fished for the tray, which had amazingly remained on the bed during their tryst. Teru watched him grab an apple piece, and the fruit was just barely at his mouth before digits snagged it from his lips, popping it into his own mouth. "…that was mine," Raito purred, turning a searing gaze onto the grinning male. "You dare steal from your god?"

"No, never." The apple slipped back out from behind lips, tip wet and fleshy. Mikami wiggled it with his tongue, and for a few seconds Raito was more stunned at the comical sight than anything else. But then he laughed, moving to straddle his hips.

"I suppose you were merely holding it for me?" He smirked, snagging the fruit. It bobbed back and forth between their mouths, a playful dance for possession, until Teru shook his head and let him take it.

"You win. I do enjoy the taste, but it's as you said. Peaches are far more to my liking."

Swallowing the mincemeat his teeth had made of the apple, took the glass of champagne from the nightstand, sipping a bit of the pale liquid. Interesting; the flavors melded much better than he'd thought they would. "Peaches are rather glorious." He pushed up until he was sitting atop Mikami's hips, gold meeting white and blending seamlessly. His back fully protested the move, a grimace twisting his juice stained lips.

"Are you in pain?" Teru touched his lower spine, fingertips rubbing the taut muscles and massaging them gently. He purred in response, leaning into his hands. "I'm sorry….I must have been too rough."

Raito waved a hand. "Teru, it's fine. I more than enjoyed myself." Sliding down until their torsos meshed, he yawned and rested his cheek against the pounding tempo of his lover's heart. Soothing…eyes closed, thick lashes fluttering, and the hands moved higher up his back, shoulders undergoing the same treatment. "That feels wonderful…."

Chuckling, Teru touched his nape, sticky locks tugged and combed back into place. "I'm glad to hear it." Watching the tension melt off golden features, he smiled. "You're tired."

"A bit…"

"So sleep." His hands continued kneading tired muscles, massaging away the discomfort. Raito moaned, this time in happiness, not pleasure. He was warm, the whispers of a fresh breeze keeping him from getting too hot, and Teru's chest was pliable silk against him. Comforting, slick…. "Teru…."

He was happy. Thrilled. The Death Note was firm in his grasp, as was the world…but more than that. His life was one of casual comfort, love, created in the house in the woods and kept alive between the two males. Teru was happy to pleasure him, and he enjoyed caring for him. Raito enjoyed it too. Smiling, he locked his arms around Teru's neck. What a wonderful change this was.

"Raito? ….is there something wrong?" Hands held him close, lips touching his cheek. Raito leaned away, mouth forming a faint line of annoyance, and he started petting black hair. Mikami crooned at the touch.

"Everything's fine," he purred. "I was just thinking about how happy I am."

A pale face turned up to his, Teru's eyes hazy with sleep. So he was tired too. There were happy gleams in his brown-gold irises though, turning them into pools of caring light. Raito kissed below each one, pushing back bangs to stare him full in the face, the strands slick against his flesh. "You please me, Teru…because of your sacrifices, our goals have been realized." And now they were both alive, together. Lips moving lower, he swept them across an angled jaw and hugged the older man, kicking up a sheet with his foot. "Arigato."

Teru grabbed the sheet, silk covering their sticky bodies. "It's I who should be thanking you." Removing the hand from his face, he kissed a smooth palm. "Kami…." lips twitched, and he looked at the brunette laying on him with nothing but pure love. "Aishiteru, Raito."

Raito took his hand, nuzzling it against his neck and closing eyes. Such a warm practice, the sharing of love…he'd grown used to it, just like everything else. And he wouldn't change it. "I know." He entwined his legs with Teru's, shivering as muscled forearms gave him a gentle squeeze. Things certainly hadn't gotten exactly as planned those many years ago. Had they, he wouldn't have this. He might not even be alive. Yet here he was, curled in bed with a messiah, his lover, who worshipped the ground he walked on, their bodies wrapped within one another under sheets. It was gentle. Radiating of quiet innocence. ….

"…." his bangs fluttered and hit tawny cheekbones. The world was his. He was a god. Raito dozed off, hearing the light murmurs of sleep coming from beneath him. Detangling his hands, he smoothed them on taut shoulders, lips moving up at the corners.

Strange. Definitely far from boring, much like his partner. Like them both, really.

He was happy.

[fuckzachariah]

It was a stupid plan and a last-ditch effort to make her laugh, but lo and behold, that sweet sound reverberated over the music in more a melodious manner than Lola Fonseca could ever hope to achieve. Zach flushed with pride, exaggerated and ridiculous in his movements, perhaps bolstered even to wordlessly ask for her hand. And perhaps she was charmed enough by the theatrics of his boyishness to accept it. Perhaps they’d wind up breathless, wordless, in one another’s arms over and over again, their togetherness written by the cruel hand of fate into parallel scriptures. He felt her featherweight relying on his scooped arm for balance, the delicate curve of her spine, her nails depressing ten perfect half-moons into the flesh of his biceps. It was all a little too much at once. Their eyes collided in a horrifying moment of clarity that felt a lot like Heaven. But Heaven wasn’t what he’d bargained for, and the moment was suffocated to just that: just a moment. Allowing it to wreathe its tendrils anything beyond that was damning, and a risk neither seemed prepared to take.

Except, his heart in his chest thrummed like a machine, and his eyes fell heavy upon rose petal lips dewy with dusk air, and Zach just wasn’t sure anymore. Because he remembered what those lips felt like. And, in the same breath, he didn’t at all. They had touched him, up and down his trembling form, again and again in the hostage safety of his dreams, the memory of these fabrications more present in his mind than the reality, which was much older. The sting of those phantom husks faded further with each passing night, until they had spent over seven hundred nights apart and Zach could no longer claim to know their language with the fluency he once had. And his own parted in an obvious tell: he missed her. He missed them.

Zach brought her easily back to her feet, and a second absconded in which their flush chests seemed reluctant to leave one another. But they did. She let go, and Zach did too, and he stood a moment with his racing thoughts so loud they deafened him to the rest of the world. It had all seemed like something of a joke, or a fantasy, an unreality, until he'd had her in her arms again. Now he fought with the very real understanding that his heart clung desperately to the thought of her, and had never truly let go. Not once, not at at all, since the day he'd met her. He swallowed, fixing his composure and his face into something like confidence. Ease, nonchalance even, as Alex verbally sought to do the same. They silently vowed to pretend the moment had not felt the way it did, to breeze by it and ignore it. He wrestled with both disappointment and relief, his eyes mining hers for any kind of a tell. The moment they’d broken apart, the glimmer he’d seen had simmered, her handle on herself admirable if slightly frustrating. Zach half-smiled. “She’s a great lyricist,” he jested lightly, his voice delivered smoother, more assuredly than he had anticipated. His lip twitched. “I guess I just needed to not be high out of my mind to appreciate that.”

Then, as if some divine entity sought to rescue him from the grave he had dug with his own two hands, his phone rattled derisively against the desk from across the room. His attention turned to it, knowing that it was Kylie without having to check. He glanced at Alex, then went to answer it, breath leaving him as he exited the strength of her orbit. Plucking his phone from the countertop, he briefly clocked the time, and smiled devilishly at her. “Looks like you missed that four o’clock. And then some.” He was reluctant to pick up in front of her, but was that a ridiculous instinct? He had to ask himself the question: though Alex occasionally seemed as fraught, as undecided, as enthralled as he felt, she equally seemed far more restrained and unmoved by the whole debacle. Not answering the phone would be a peculiar, tough to explain decision. So he did.

“Hey,” he picked up, biting down on an instinctual babe. “Hey yourself. Do you want to hear just the saddest story in the whole world?” Zach turned his body away from Alex, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he decided between smirking at her typical antics he was so fond of or groaning that it seemed to predicate a longer conversation than he’d expected. “Go on,” he said. “There’s this beautiful, blonde popstar, all alone on her big, big couch, and her boyfriend is late and she’s not eating any Mexican food at all,” she droned on histrionically, prompting a quiet laugh Zach quickly extinguished. “Isn’t that tragic?” she asked. He sighed, rolling his eyes. “I’ve heard worse.” Kylie scoffed, then made a loud noise like an incorrect buzzer. “I’m dying, Zach.” He nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you soon.” She squeaked. “And throw in an extra portion of nachos while you’re at it. Tardiness tax.” 

He hung up, turning back to Alex with something of a hardened look on his face, reckoning once again with leaving her without any assurance of when they might see each other again. More and more, she was becoming like a drug to him. But this was not a drug he could purchase on a whim, or indulge in until his heart stopped. This served to be a problem for a natural addict such as himself. “I have to go,” he explained plainly, for some reason finding himself reluctant to deliver this news with any sort of sorriness attached to it. He felt distinctly as though he’d given up a chunk too much of his heart, revealed too many of his cards in the last few hours, and doing so was a little shameful. This, combined with the devastating effects simply admiring her impossible beauty and feeling its poison ache in his bones, resulted in a rather unusual manner. He tilted his head. By then, almost all the patrons decorating the belly of the Label HQ would have ducked their heads through the discreet exits and ushered themselves back to their respective homes, leaving the building in a strange hush. As though it might be theirs alone. “You probably do, too,” he referred indirectly to Andrew. Zach was stung by a goodbye she hadn’t even said yet. He did not want to leave her. He was resentful of the world for forcing him to do so, time and time again. “Unless you want to hang out in the in-house dormers… do you have a car I can walk you to?”

As Zach’s laughter filled the room, Alex found herself momentarily consumed by the sound. It drowned out the repetitive guitar strokes, the steady pulse of the drum, and the colorful lyrics he had woven together in her honor. In that moment, it was all she could focus on. The end of their relationship had been plagued by their incessant need to argue, their stubborn refusal to see eye to eye, and their firm commitment to misunderstanding one another. It had been a painful and gruesome ordeal, leaving little room for anything but bitterness and resentment. Amidst the chaos and the heartache, however, there had once been a simple love between them — a love that had been content and uncomplicated. It was just difficult to sustain. When she considered why she had endured it for as long as she had, she supposed it was because she clung to the belief that they would learn to. But as time wore on and the challenges persisted, Alex grew weary. She had a heart that yearned not only to give love but to receive it in return, and she felt neglected as Zach quietly navigated through his own struggles. It may have seemed selfish, but she struggled to find her place in his world. What was her purpose, she wondered, other than to be there at his beck and call? When the women he rotated in and out of his hotel rooms were not enough to fulfil his emotional needs? While she was allowed to entertain the attention of other men, there was an unspoken understanding that none could ever threaten the place he held in her heart, a place that had been reserved for him, and him alone, whenever he was ready to claim it. In many ways, Alex felt stuck in purgatory, a limbo of her own making, trapped between her desire for something more and her unwillingness to let go of what they once had. The drama and tension that had defined their relationship had overshadowed the positive memories they had shared, and she had forgotten what it was like to see him happy, blissful, and truly at peace.

Despite the intensity of the emotions stirred by the song Zach had composed, Alex knew better than to take its content too seriously. If she had been blessed with any sort of musical ability, she was certain she would have responded in much the same way, using creativity as a means of expression and release. In her own way, she had. While she may not have been responsible for composing music, Alex had found her own form of artistic expression through dance. Through movement, she communicated stories and emotions, reflecting the intensity of the music in her choreography. It was a medium through which she could convey her innermost feelings, whether it be through the delicate strains of Clair de Lune bringing her to tears or the fierce energy of a Heels Class inspiring a more biting choreography. She understood precisely how cathartic it could be, but she never imagined she would find herself confronted with such raw emotion firsthand, and in his presence no less. Zach deftly caught the pillow Alex flung across the room and returned it with equal ease, the soft thud as it landed back on the couch cushions punctuating their playful exchange. Alex shook her head, still in playful disbelief at the notion that Zach would write something like that about her, a sentiment that seemed reminiscent of an angsty teenager scribbling inside his journal. As Alex called out to the device in the room, she was surprised to hear it respond, her eyes widening with delight as the music began to play. “I had no idea he even had one of those in here,” she defended herself, a hint of amusement in her tone. The music played at a healthy volume, reverberating through the speakers and enveloping the room in its melodic embrace. For a moment, Alex was transported back to the first time she had ever heard the song. Back then, she had been less than thrilled by its lyrics. The evening had left her with a bruised hand, a bruised heart, and a panic attack that she had to be awkwardly coaxed out of.

Now, they could laugh about it. Zach joined in singing along to the disparaging lyrics, fully embracing the mockery of the song as he rose to his feet. Alex shook her head in amazement at his unshakeable demeanor, marveling at how little seemed to faze him. Each jab from the song seemed to roll off his back effortlessly, as if he were impervious to the sting of its words. “Really?” Alex taunted him, watching him begin to sway to the rhythm of the music, gradually drawing closer with each step. Despite her best efforts to stifle her giggles, she found herself unable to resist, her full lips pressing together in a failed attempt to contain it. Before she could object, Zach outstretched his hand, a silent invitation for her to join him. Alex allowed herself to be lifted from the comforts of the couch, her laughter bubbling up as he twirled her gracefully in time with the music. She sunk into his embrace, his arm wrapping around her waist with a sense of familiarity that felt both comforting and unsettling at the same time. She felt entranced, pressing her chest gently against his. Her fingers curled around his inked forearms in effort to maintain her balance, and as her gaze met his, it languidly floated toward his lips. A soft smile played at the corners of her mouth as she stood there, suspended in the moment, her heart racing in tandem with his. She then reluctantly forced herself to let go, her hands smoothing over his forearms to his wrists before she released him entirely. “Who would have thought that all this time later, we’d be here..” she mused in a hushed tone. Her inclination to lighten the mood and cut through the tension overcame her, “Listening to Lola Fonseca willingly, together. I guess we have grown up a bit, hm?”

[scntlisi]

Porca merda!

A very real and very lethal arrow has just lodged itself securely in the exterior wall of Eleanor's residence. The red heart tipped arrow, firmly embedded, has a white card tied to the golden feather fletching at the end. An individual adorned with large white wings and a tightly wrapped cloth diaper covering their ass sprinted to the arrow they launched and places a beautifully wrapped gift basket underneath it before they retreat into an unmarked vehicle and speed away. Opening the card would expose gorgeous calligraphy neatly detailing the ramblings of someone likely experiencing a break in reality.

Buona Festa degli Innamorati!

I hope my gifts find you in good spirits! Unfortunately, I could not be the one to hand deliver them to you since you live just a little bit too far for me to send in a timely manner. Therefore, I have paid some very lovely and silly people to dress as gli aiutanti di Cupido. If you see a young (naked) man wearing big angel wings and running around with an archer’s bow please do blow him a kiss as thanks!

Usually, I wouldn’t go out of my way to do something like this since Valentine’s Day is almost exclusively celebrated between couples in Italy, but I thought it might be fun to surprise you. As the country of origin for the tradition, I was ordained by St. Valentine himself in a dream to carry on his mission of love and subverting authority on February 14th. Since I have no idea (or desire to find out) if you are in a relationship or not, I have taken the liberty of assuming not and created a wonderful care package for you! Please find two bottles of Recioto della Valpolicella wine, a box of handpicked chocolates and sweets, a quarter dozen bomboloni and maritozzo each, a clay face mask, and two bath bombs. I may have stuffed some other little things in the basket before I wrapped it up, so whatever else you find should be considered a wonderful surprise! Unless you were the recipient who ended up with my house keys, then I will need those back.

Even though this is supposed to be a day for lovers, I believe with the utmost conviction that the most neglected form of love is self-love… in the words of someone who has inspired millions: “If you can’t love yourself, how in the HELL are you gonna love somebody else?” And in that spirit of practising self-love, I have attached various pictures of myself in the Cupid ensemble I’ve decided to wear for the day. We all have to start somewhere, and I really do think I may love how I look in this, wouldn’t you agree?

Enjoy your day, with or without a partner, and make the most of what this world has to offer. Love comes from all sides.

Affectionately,

Feliciano ♥

(P.S. if my arrows have caused any property damage and/or you were unlucky enough to have been shot by my untrained archers, please fill out the paperwork at the bottom of the basket and submit your claim to my email.)

As she did on every Valentine's Day that she was vaguely lonely for, Eleanor had spent most of the day keeping busy, go to the market, bother her neighbours on the WhatsApp group and relax at the beach with a good book. Nothing exciting, it was just another day, after all. Special for people with significant others, an ordinary day if not.

So when she came back to her home to find an arrow of all things embedded into her door, she couldn't help but frown. This had to be a prank? Right? Who went around firing arrows about in this day and age?! Still, she found herself intrigued enough by the gifts (which she was devastated to discover, weren't simply early birthday presents) to open the beautifully written, if somewhat bizarre card.

A small smile made its way onto her face as she skimmed through the note. At least until she got to the part about the naked man who had no doubt been on her property, that may have explained the message she'd received from the old lady next door about a naked hooligan, that made her face fall a little before she covered her mouth to stifle a giggle.

Huh, definitely unexpected, she'd have to thank Feliciano for the note and the gifts, maybe not for the photos, she didn't know how to feel about those. Still, she could get a little gift basket together, it was always better to say thank you in person, wasn't it? A text or a note never seemed to cover things properly. The dark-haired woman tugged on the arrow gently, frowning softly when she discovered that it wouldn't be so easily moved. That was going to be fun to explain to her boss in the morning.

Well, best to keep the note in case she had issues with the arrow when she could be bothered trying to tug it out properly. Also gave her a reason to send a well-meaning, if likely incoherent thank you email while drinking a bottle of wine.

[cynettic]

Kissing Genshin Characters before you Die

Summary - Kissing the Genshin Characters one last time before you enter the battlefield.

Pairings - Reader x Albedo / Barbara / Bennett / Beidou / Chongyun / Diluc / Eula / Kazuha / Kaeya / Ayaka / Ningguang / Childe / Venti / Xiao / Zhongli

Warnings - Angst, death mentions

Tips - I wrote this listening to ‘Lovely’ and ‘Listen before I go,’ so it might make it better if you listen to both those songs while reading this :’) Both are by Billie Eilish btw, both reverb and slowed down songs for the extra angst

A/N - Im so tired, so so tired of human interaction and having no motivation to talk to people. Its like my social battery simply does not recharge, and I'm stuck writing about interactions I wish I could have, even if it's angst. Burying myself in the delusion that being in a different reality would change everything, burying myself in little imaginations and dreams of a love that doesn't exist.

Also yes, if you did notice the song lyrics playing at first are from "If the World was Ending," used to listen to that song so much. Thought it would fit this :)

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

It was absolute chaos, flames crawling up the wooden buildings and spreading smoke through the nation of Teyvat. Everything burned with the scorching heat, children crying, men and woman trying to run from the unescapable flames. Terror etched into citizens faces when encountering the monsters who appeared unaffected by the destruction.

Hilichurls and ruin guards smashing past people, till there was nowhere to run. And it was the mere decision of whether being beaten to death or burnt crisp was a better way to leave this world.

“You’d come over and you’d stay the night.”

But there you were, weapon in hand as you stood up against the blaze. Strong against the unblinking inferno in front of you, unwavering as you stood in front of the monsters that eagerly rushed towards you. Cut and obliterated in seconds, your eyes held nothing but a sickening disgust.

You slowly turned back to your s/o, relief quenching your heart when they were safe in the little location you’d found for them. They were injured, they wouldn't be sitting on the sidelines otherwise. And holding your weapon up again, you claimed the role of protector against the hoard of monsters.

“Would you love me for the hell of it?”

Their voice broke past your focus, a ragged sound that was suffering. It only took you a few strides till you reached them, crouching down to face them fully. Your faces were mere inches away, and you could see the frustration on their face. A deeply rooted feeling that fueled the action as they curled their hand around your head. Pressing your lips against theirs, one last kiss before you assumed the role of predator against the monsters.

“All our fears would be irrelevant.”

Both hands coming to hold their face, you pressed forwards into their kiss. Grasp tight against them, clinging onto them as if they were your lifeline.

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

You kissed them as if the world wasn't a aflame, like it was just you both sitting there. Hands grasping for their skin, for their lips, for them. Because without them you couldn't live in this smoldering world, a bright light that cocooned you in its comforting warmth. Nothing like the blazing flames that surrounded the two of you.

You kissed them like they were the only thing that mattered.

“The sky’d be falling and I’d hold you tight.”

But you felt the shake in their hands as they pressed their hand against your back, scared to let you go, scared to lose you. Scared to let this kiss end and have to face the scorching reality.

“And there wouldn't be a reason why.”

You pressed one last kiss to their forehead, basking in their embrace once more between you broke away. The look on your face was confident as you faced them one last time, softened by their teary eyes. Whispering soft words to them, you could only watch as they broke down, a tight feeling in your chest urging you to do the same.

But no, you had to be strong. For them, for yourself, for all of Teyvat. You slowly turned to the flames and monsters, holding up your weapon, screaming one last battle cry as you let your weapon lead your actions. As you let death become your only objective in a flurry to protect your partner.

“We would even have to say goodbye.”

Sobs wretched out of their throat as they watched you crumble, watched you fall the ground and collapse. Till the movement of your chest came to an abrupt stop, and monsters pooled at your sides.

They were forced to watch, unable to move.

“If the world was ending you’d come over right?”

Their cries turned to whimpers, until they couldn't hear the noises that spilled form their lips. Until they didn't care. What they cared about was thrown on their battlefield, beaten and ragged, torn and broken.

Dead.

“You’d come over… right?”

_-_-_-_-_

Albedo

He takes his time, hand on the back of your neck pushing you so hard against him till he’s woozy. Memorizing the feel of your plush lips against his, molding them into memory with every kiss. He’ll break away from your lips, pressing soft pecks up your face, along your nose, to your forehead. Infatuated with the way your hands gently hold his face, careful, delicate. He doesnt want to let you go, and with one final peck right between your eyes, he’ll close his eyes, whispering a goodbye as you leave. He doesnt open them when you die, he doesnt open them when the monsters reach him. No, he dies in your embrace, even if its not real.

Barbara

Desperate, oh so desperate. She doesnt know what to do with you when you press your hands to her face, tearful. You’ll have to be the one to initiate the kiss, muffling her cries with a short lived sweetness between the two of you. She’ll have her hands all over you, unsure of how to hold you, how to press you against her. She wants to stay like this forever, and even if her kisses are sloppy and messy, she’s crying too much to notice. She won’t break away, you’ll have to tug your way out of her grip and press one last kiss to her forehead. Her voice is angelic, even when she cries. You remind yourself that this is what you’re protecting as you enter the battlefield, giving it your all.

Beidou

Oh she knows, knows how this will play out. The kisses shared between the two of you are strong and compassionate, its more intense than any other kiss you’ve both shared before. Because she knows. She knows what’ll become of you and her, that this is the last kiss she’ll share with you, that there's nothing she can do about it. She lets herself indulge in you, her strong hold on you never letting go until you vocally ask her to let you go. You make her promises she knows you can't keep, but simply smiles, telling you to come back to her.

Bennett

Awkward, his hands will grab your shoulders when you approach him, pressing for a kiss immediately. He misses his mark, accidentally pressing his lips to the edge of your lips, noses bumping against each other as he tries to shift his face. You chuckle, holding his face as you adjust the angle, till you can fully reach his lips and press him against you. Like Barbara, he’ll cry, letting himself melt into you. He doesnt resist when you back away, whispering to him. Just sitting there he’ll cry, sob through it all, vision blurry with tears. But its better that way, he can picture you better when everything is fuzzy.

Chongyun

Everything was smoldering hot, too much for Chongyun who has so much yang energy trapped in him. He’s going through one of his rushes when you get to him, eager to tuck you into his arms. His kisses are sporadic, like he’s trying to kiss you but he cant. Like no matter how much his lips meet yours, it isnt enough. He wants more, he wants the promise of your forever embrace ingrained in his head. And when you break away, he’s left empty, the kisses he’d given you the only warmth on his lips. Suddenly everything was cold, so cold, and he only wished for you.

Diluc

Too rough, mashing your lips against his until you couldn't breath. Dizzy with the lack of oxygen, he didn't stop. You were ‘his,' right here right now, no one could take you away from him. You belonged alongside him, crouched in front of him, pressed into his arms where he could keep you safe. He wouldn't let you go, strong arms pulling you to his chest so firmly that you couldn't escape. He wanted to be selfish, he let himself indulge in the promise to himself that you weren't going anywhere. You’ll have to physically break out yourself, pressing back his hands as he tries to make a grab for you, tears brimming.

Eula

You were her everything, and she’ll tell you it through her kisses. She’ll run her hands along the curve of your back, holding you tenderly against her. She doesn't wish for vengeance for all the soft kisses you’ve stolen from her good days long ago, no, she’s willing to forgive you for everything as long as you’ll ‘stay.’ She promises that in all honesty, she loves everything about you, even if she denies it sometimes. And when you leave, she tells you to come back. That its the one and only thing she’ll hold against you if you don't.

Kazuha

Soft, so incredibly sensual with every touch. Kazuha was always filled with words, filled with lovely compositions made for you and only you. But now, he couldn't think of anything, no haiku he’d written in the past that compared to what he felt right now. Metaphors and hidden meanings couldn't compare to the raw pulsing throb he felt in his chest. “I love you,” he whispered, plain and simple. It held so much affection, he was afraid even those words weren't enough to express what he felt, but he settled with it either way. “I love you,” he repeated, brushing your lips against his before he said it again. “I love you.” He said it again, even as you left, entering the battlefield. He didn't stop saying it, not when he saw the monsters take you, not when they approached him with the promise of death. “I love you.”

Kaeya

He doesnt kiss you, because kisses to Kaeya are a sort of affection that brings the sense of normalcy. He likes the way your lips feel against his, but holding you against him is more special. He doesnt depend on kisses to express what he feels, instead pushing your head to his chest, sighing when your own arms come to wrap around him. No kisses, no touches, just you and him. Offering each other your last shreds of hope, because in the end, you only need each other.

Ayaka

“Look at me.” Her hand cups your cheeks just as you do to her. Now you both simply stare into each others eyes, love and adoration filling hers. She loves you, oh she loves you so much. But she understands duty better than anyone, the urge to protect you almost consuming her. When she kisses you, its soft, butterfly kisses. She doesn't rely on the contact to keep her grounded, no holding your face is a gift enough for her. To stare at you, even for one last time, is all she needs. You’ve given her so much, she would follow you to the ends of the world if you asked her to, and that's why it hurts her so much to watch you fall. She closes her eyes, noticing that she’d follow soon after and perhaps see you in the afterlife. No, she would, that's a promise she makes to herself.

Ningguang

Ningguang has delt with loss before, the concept isnt foreign to her. But you… you’re more than the jade chamber, more than any possession she has. You’re precious, like she sold a piece of her heart to you that she could never gain back. You took it from her, and you plan to take it with you to the battlefield. All she can do is press her lips against yours. Kiss you and the world beside you both becomes meaningless, until air becomes a chore instead of a necessity. Because without air she'd kiss you forever.

Childe

Details, in the case that Childe himself cant fight alongside you, he’ll hold you and repeat the details in his head. The way his hand feels on your hair, how soft or rough your lips are against his. How you fit against him, how badass you look out in the battlefield. He won’t stop you from leaving him, because he knows that if this case was reversed, he’d want you to let him go too. So he presses intimate kisses, slow ones that dont consist of a fight for dominance like they usually do. No, he wants to tell you how much he loves you, one last time.

Venti

He doesnt know what to do, pressed against you firmly. He presses soft kisses, but theres no emotion, he doesn't know how to express himself here. He’s lost a lot, lost so much in his existence, but nothing prepared him for this. Only after a kisses will he ask to cry, and when you tell him yes he’ll press his head against your shoulder. He’ll sob, hands gripping the fabric of your shirt as he does so. And then he kisses you while tears stream down his face, mashes your lips against his until his face grows numb. And he’ll continue to feel numb when you leave, when you die, when he dies.

Xiao

He doesn't know what to do, Xiao has never felt so utterly useless when you crouch to him. Form battered and bruised, when you embrace him he feels whole again. You’re his world, he doesn't care about the blazing inferno just beside you, the monsters that threaten all of Teyvat. You are his everything, what he strives to protect and keep safe. Kisses with him are breathless, both of you passionately pulling each other closer. He cant get enough of you, he wants all of you, every single piece. Molded into his embrace until you cant get out. When you break away, he tries to pull you to him, but he finds himself only able to move in the slightest. But Xiao is a protector, he is ‘your’ protector. He follows you as you head to the battlefield, dragging his limp body in a crawl to get closer. He doesn't stop when he sees the monsters overtake you, no, he continues. Just until he reaches your body, grabbing you and holding your corpse into his chest. He numbs out the monsters that attack him, knowing sullenly that he's going to die. But death doesn't seem so bad, not beside you.

Zhongli

As someone who always has control over the situation, Zhongli will be able to adapt quickly. But he doesnt want you to suffer, admiring you for being so strong when everything presses against you. He wishes to relieve the weight if only a little bit with a few kisses. Sensual and intimate, he wants to support you, and if he cant do it on the battlefield he’ll do it right here. Hold you close and promise you that he’ll always be there for you. Only after you die does he allow himself to cry, not wanting to have burdened you with his tears.

[beck-a-leck]

Was talking Rune Factory HCs and the mechanics of the Return spell with some folks on Discord.

Got an Idea.

Immediately made the Idea Angsty TM

Had to write the story

I was prompted to make the Angsty Idea for Randolph/Yuki, and hoo boy the ideas started flowing.

This really was supposed to be a short little snippet, just to highlight the mechanics and angst of the headcanon, but as per usual with me, it's getting a little out of hand.

it's turning into a full Randolph/Yuki romance backstory. it's gonna happen.

But for now, have a rough draft little peek at some of what I've written.

Most of it will be beneath a cut for length, but also because of depictions of physical trauma. Read with caution.

💜💜💜

Randolph regained consciousness when he hit the stone floor of his cell. He didn’t remember getting dragged out of the courtyard, down the prison steps.

He stirred weakly, in too much pain to do more than twitch a muscle. He rolled onto his back and had to stop and catch his breath. He couldn’t see well. He could feel the hot blood pouring from his face where the other prisoner’s blade had caught him. He tried to force that eyelid open but only saw darkness. The other eye was nearly swollen shut. He could see blurs, light and shadows, large shapes, anything beyond that… a Silver Wolf could be right next to him and he’d never know until the beast’s teeth were in him.

And even then. Randolph was in so much pain he was fairly certain getting mauled by a wolf would not register to his body. His nerves were maxed out.

Randolph drifted in and out of consciousness. He was bleeding too much. He could feel his splintered bones moving places they should not be.

Randolph was not going to survive the night.

Every time he closed his eyes, he expected that to be the last time.

His mind left his body. If these were his last hours alive, he’d rather spend them dwelling on better places and kinder people. He thought about Yuki and the others in Rigbarth who had welcomed him with open arms. He thought about those pleasant walks to nowhere, arm in arm with Yuki, splashing into the surf, dragging her along as she squealed about the seaweed touching her, long nights alone together at the observation point stargazing.

“HEY!”

Cold water splashed over Randolph’s face, bringing him unwillingly back to reality. He could barely make out the dark shape of a guard at his cell door. He’d just dumped the cup of water that was part of Randolph’s dinner over his face.

“If you’re going to die, have the decency to wait until the night shift comes in, you useless bastard!”

There was a thin splat and hollow clatter as he dropped Randolph’s food just past the bars. Then he was gone.

Randolph’s head felt like it weighed a ton as he turned it slowly to look. It didn’t take the rats long at all to run out and claim the food as their own. He didn’t care. He’d rather not have a last meal than eat that.

Randolph closed his eyes again. A last meal… he’d give anything to have one of Yuki’s jam rolls just one more time.

Randolph dreamed of the bakery. His imagination was so vivid he could almost smell the fresh-baked bread. But what he most wanted was standing behind the counter, with that sweet smile of hers as she helped a customer.

“Yuki.”

“Randolph!” Her eyes lit up. She vaulted over the counter and threw herself into his arms. “Honey, where have you been? It’s been so long! I thought something terrible had happened.”

Randolph hesitated just long enough to feel Yuki’s solid arms around him, and then he held her close, tight. He buried his head in her shoulder, her scent filled his nose, and he wanted to hold onto her and never ever let go.

He thought he would die before seeing her again.

He was dying. He knew this wasn’t real. But it felt real. And he wasn’t going to go without saying what he needed to.

“Yuki, I’m sorry, I’ve been a godsdamned idiot. I love you. I love you so much. I never, ever want to leave you again. Can you forgive me? I said such horrible things. I’m sorry.” He was sobbing now. Holding onto her like he was a drowning man and she was the only thing keeping his head above water.

“I want to come home, Yuki. I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home.”

Randolph repeated that last line over and over. His dying wish. If he couldn’t be with Yuki, at least he could dream about it.

His body hurt. The pain was excruciating in places where he wasn’t going cold and numb. His vision started to darken, and then went white around the edges. He had the strangest sensation of floating, and then gravity returning all too suddenly, knocking the breath from his lungs and driving splintered bone deeper into places it should not be.

The pain shattered the illusion. The dream of Yuki disappeared from his arms. Curiously, the scent of the bakery lingered.

He could faintly hear a voice, someone down the cellblock screaming, but they almost sounded like Yuki. They called for a doctor – couldn’t be for him. He was too far gone.

Someone cradled his head in their lap, held his hand. Did they think he was already dead? Wasn’t he still breathing?

Honestly, he couldn’t tell.

He cracked his eye open one last time. He saw Yuki looking over him, haloed in warm light.

Randolph smiled and let go.

[enarmor]

"For you, my darling, I would do anything, go anywhere... Such are the duties as your devoted. To merely stand should," he interrupts himself with a grunt, placing the palm of his hand flat on the ground to begin pushing himself up, "be no trouble at all...!"

Ignoring all instruction to keep his mouth shut, Sain bolsters the strength to overcome his injury and let fly the sweetness in his heart. Priscilla's magic is what enables him to maintain vision, hold fast in his resolve, and taste of the joys of their reunion. As the flowers melt back into snow he returns to reality. And she remains, in spite of their long silence. Her frown is serene as ever, but he loathes to burden Priscilla with his woes; she mustn't look so sadly upon him, lest he begin to call himself a failure as her knight.

So he forces his grin to inch further into his cheeks. The muscles begin to hurt, pulled back so far. But Sain does not mind: 'tis a paltry sacrifice for what he stands to gain.

"Ohhh, this is just like that time... I was injured, having leapt in to protect you," a claim still debatable at best, especially when one considers the six other times he had been hurt, "and you healed me... Not just with your staff, but your smile. Oh my dearest love, I long to see you happy again! Won't you smile for knight and protector?"

Truly, it was all he wanted. For her happiness was his. And it was precisely that desire to see Priscilla in a well-off future that gave him the shovel by which he buried his feelings. Digging a grave for their love was the only way forward. It had to be. She was a royal of Etruria and he a knight bound to Caelin--they were crossed by the stars never to love.

But that was then, and this is now. Caelin is no more, and the Lance without a home by which to return. Even Fodlan is a temporary stay, its end written in the companions he came to seek. Should they desire a life without him again, he would be lost--free.

He looks to her again, eyes welling with an old and long-denied affection. He hadn't felt it at first, but Sain is beginning to see how the image of Priscilla is ripping off a very old bandage. What-if's and stories that could have been pack the insides of his head, each drawn to the flame that is her. There were a million ways they could have made things work, had Sain just the tiniest bit of foresight to tell him he wouldn't be in Lyndis' service forever.

His chest sinks. Regret suddenly stains him now, drawing a curtain on his radiant features until only a sullen frown remains. Looking back on their time together, it was only when she mentioned her by name that Priscilla made him think of Lady Lyndis. She helped him forget what burdened him most, brushing away his tragic feelings with her featherlight hands. And he had lied, if memory serves him right. 'She has given me her leave!' Sain claimed, though not once had he asked his liege for permission.

A trembling hand reaches for the shaft of a spear. Using it to prop himself up, the knight drags his aching body until finally it stands. But he stumbles, face planting into snow only to begin the climb again. He knows this is what he ought to focus on--his survival--but an uneasy thought plagues his mind.

If Lyndis was his first real love, then Priscilla is his second. And as it always does, circumstance makes a tragedy of his tale.

˖⁺‧₊˚ steady, steady

[smutty-ki113r]

🎠Laughing Jack🎠|| Carousel

Fluff one-shot x gn!reader— only warning is angst (2.6k)

Inspired by: Melanie Martinez

After months of endless nagging you finally convinced Laughing Jack to let you visit his amusement park. He had claimed it was too scary and you would get creeped out but you weren’t one to take no for an answer.

Giving you a piece of candy so the trans-dementional trip wouldn’t be too hard on you. Tasting the sour lemon taffy he gave you and making a tense face as the flavor pulled at your taste buds and stuck to your teeth.

Your head getting dizzy as your surroundings warped and his room became red and white vertical stripes. Blinking a couple times as he leaned into your face, “are you alright?”

“I’m fine!” You told him, almost falling back at how close he was. As soon as your perception adjusted you looked for the exit to the tent you were inside. “Onward!” You said excited, marching comedically to the entrance flap.

“This isn’t exactly the safest place”, he called from behind, catching up with ease because his legs were so long. “You need to stay close to me at all times” you smiled at him, it’s not like you were complaining, “got that?”

Giving him a keen nod you stepped out of the grand tent. Squinting at the sky, which was tainted a dusty gray, swirly clouds amber of scattered around in the background. The carnival was beautifully revolting, with littered attractions as far as the eye could see.

The place looked somewhat abandoned, if you get past the faint cries of children, from their souls stored in toys. Rides that once colored a vibrant red had paint chipped, specks of dull metal flaked over the bars.

Game stands broken down and leaning unsteadily, disturbing toys with eyes and limbs missing hanging from the top. It looked like it might fall down at any minute, but you couldn’t help but notice the newer looking boxes of supplies lying around next to the stands.

Fairy lights hung from the tilted signs, decorating the food court. A fresh trail had been made between the rides.

It warmed your heart that he had made subtle efforts to fix the place up, he certainly didn’t think you would notice.

Looking back at his nervous smile, Jack was terrified you would hate the place. You thought all but the opposite, giving him a big grin. Your expression relaxed him, assuring him that you wouldn’t think he was a freak and leave. His whole demeanor shifting, making him more comfortable and even enthusiastic.

Straightening out and giving you jazz hands, “what are you waiting for?” putting one hand on his hip to motion you to the park with the other “lets go have fun!”

Following behind you with a giggle as you approached the carnival games. The ring toss looking somewhat appealing in between the other activities, so you told him you wanted to play.

“Basically you get 5 rings, if you get at least 3 in the pins you win a prize” he explained.

“Alright alright lemme try” you waved him off, snatching the rings and giving one a toss. It missed, you brushed it off. The second one made it in and Jack gave a little cheer, it still wasn’t enough.

Hyperfocusing on the pin in the middle make a soft throw upward, the edge hitting the top of the pin and falling to the side. You gave a groan, calculating your last two throws.

Your forth throw made the pin to the side, and you only had one more try left. Aiming for another pin at the side to release, the ring clanging against it and falling to the floor.

You went to look at Jack with a frown but he wore a happy expression, “you won!” He exclaimed. Confused you turned back, finding the ring you had just tossed around the last pin. You were completely certain you had missed it, racking your mind for an explanation as jack handed you a small purple bunny that was missing an arm.

Realizing that Jack had manipulating the game so you could win, throwing him a knowing glance. He just happened to be looking away, whistling guiltily.

Squeezing the bunny you moved onto the next game, it was ballon dart toss. The stand had pale red and black balloons scattered across a board. Excitement was written all over his face, you cocked an eyebrow in question.

“It’s a two person game!” He said, “whoever pops more balloons wins!”

He handed you four darts and kept four for himself, “you can go first” he motioned with a grin. Pacing the dart in two fingers a couple times before throwing at a balloon. Giving a groan when you missed and waiting for him to go.

Being as skilled as he was he managed to land one in a bullseye. “Oh it’s on” you dared, getting one point yourself. LJ got the second one too, staring at you intensely as you evened out the score.

Giving him a small smile as the dart broke the surface of the balloon with a sharp noise “pop goes the weasel right?” You laughed, referring to his famous song.

He looked at you almost in shock, taken aback by your joke. Shaking himself into reality he broke out in a light blush, a part of him touched, as if you were accepting him for who he was.

Too distracted by your eyes on him to play the game with concentration. Missing the third one with a growl he waited for you to take your turn, which you lost. It was the last point and Jack was a shoe in, so obviously he took the victory.

You were happy for him, passing along a “good job!” as he retrieved the big brown teddy bear that was half his size, and all of yours. It was missing an eye, thin stands of makeshift fur pulled out and a silky red bow around it’s neck.

“Here” he said, dangling it in front of you.

“For me?” You asked, “but you won”, trying to look up at him but the bear blocked most of your view, only letting you see above his nose.

“Just take it” he practically pushed it into you, making you blow out an oof.

Holding it to the side at the torso with one hand you broke out in a grin “thank you for the plushie” you said, hugging him from the side and squeezing his torso “but I want you to be my teddy” you laughed. He looked incredibly flustered, frozen as you broke away.

“You’re big and tall” you tippy toed up to give his shoulder pad feathers a ruffle “and fluffy”

The man looked like he was about to faint so you decided to knock it off, laughing and telling him you wanted to go on the carousel next. Quickly, LJ happily led you too it, skipping in front of you (mostly to hide his blush).

Standing at the controls to cue a round, watching you walk around to find a pretty horse. Given, all of them had dark spots and chipped paint, but they worked all the same. Leaving the bear on another horse and climbing onto a white one that had a yellow saddle, intricate lacy designs patterned on the sides. Royal blue reigns across it’s chest and a lion on a crest.

It was beautiful, and you traced your fingers on the drawing. It must have been stunning, but the weathering of time and agony had gotten to it. A painful reminder of what was, a mere reflection of the chipping away of a joyful being.

Prying away from your thoughts as you felt the vibrations of Jack stepping onto the walkway- with one of his big smiles. Even after everything, he still wore a smile. It made you want to tear up, he really needed all the love he could get.

He was too tall to get on a horse, so he just stood by you. His big hand gracing the golden pole and holding on, watching as you peeked up at him. Even though his eyes were constantly bright he displayed something…deeper. It was a sort of shine, a sparkle if you will, luminosity glazed over in such a way that one can only get lost in its vastness.

The looped music in the background was secondary as you rose up and down with the horse, giving Jack a little smile and thanking him for bringing you here. “I’m having a lot of fun with you” you noted.

“Well of course you are! It’s a carnival” he said with joy.

“No I mean with you” you clarified “you’re pretty great Jack”. This time he didn’t avoid your gaze, his mouth open slightly, not knowing how to react to the sincerity of the compliment.

The ride slowly came to a stop, and you were feeling slightly tingly. Maybe it was the air, or the loss of focus. “How about a roller coaster?” You dared, to which he gave a tense face.

“Those are pretty broken, you’ll probably die riding one and that’s not what we want” he said, stepping off the carousel. “How about some cotton candy instead?”

You nodded your head vigorously, following him in the pursuit for the fairy floss, the bear falling behind forgotten. Passing by more unused rides that had long past rusted and a house of mirrors to get to the food court.

Jack humming happily as he dipped a paper cone into the bowl of revolving fibers of sugar. Whipping up a swirly pink and blue cotton candy and handing it to you with a proud smile.

He went to make another treat until you spoke, “I’m not that hungry so we can share” you proposed. “If you want”

“Are you sure?” He asked, concerned that you didn’t have much appetite. “Do you want some candy or maybe a funnel cake?”

You shook him off, taking a bite out of the cloud-like dessert. It was absolutely delicious, honeyed and saccharine on your tongue in a blend of flavor you had never tasted had before.

Soft as it disintegrated onto your mouth, leaving behind a remanence of something too sweet. Bringing it up to Jack, who was so tall you had to extend your arm fully to get it to his mouth.

He simply laughed at your struggle, taking a bite before giving you a thin smile and taking it from your hand. Sitting down at a bench so that you could both share comfortably.

By the time the candy had finished you noticed little bits of the silky texture stuck on his nose. Painfully stifling a laugh you turned away.

“What’s so funny?” He asked with a genuine smile.

When you didn’t answer his tone changed, “what’s so funny huh?” he sounded a bit angered.

Hiccuping through your laughter you faced him, leaning in real close to his face, enough so that you could feel the heat emanating from it; taking a bite of the pink woven candy on his nose and holding it in your teeth.

His face went red at the sight, embarrassed that he had cotton candy on his nose. Well, that and for a moment he thought you were going to kiss him.

Noticing your hands were all sticky you asked him if there was a sink somewhere. After both of you washed your hands you sat back down at the bench.

The sky was going dark, the poofs of dusty cloud fading in with the night but still managing to remain visible. You heard a whirr as Jack turned on all the rides at the carnival, lighting the whole thing up.

You sat in awe, a mere spectator in the empty yet live amusement park. Admiring the music that added to the ambiance, watching Jack approach you.

“Wanna take a walk?” He asked, but there was something…off. LJ seemed nervous as you got up and walked next to him.

He had been thinking about it for a while now, probably even before he brought you to the carnival. Even though he had washed the gooey candy from his hands they were still sticky, but it was from sweat. Giving you side glances as you paced the trail with him.

Debating to himself whether or not he should do it, if you would hate him for it. Telling himself that he would regret it if he didn’t, but thinking about the potential negative reactions you could give.

Passing the carousel once again as you noticed the usually loud and happy clown was silent, lost in thought as he stared into the distance, his lips forming a tensing line.

Wondering if he was ok, but brining up the topic might make him uneasy. Perhaps you being there at his haunted amusement park was ticking him off, or if you taking that cotton floss off his nose was too much, or if you were pushing your luck, or worse what if you triggered hi-

All thoughts faded from your mind the moment you felt a slow, shaky hand grasp onto yours. You had to look to where he held you because he was so gentile you thought it was the wind. Holding onto you softly enough that it felt like a feather, somehow still creating a little pocket of warmth between you.

A glowing thump of heat pulsing inside your chest, happiness digging into your cells and giving you the confidence to squeeze his hand.

He let out a sharp inhale at the feel, still avoiding your gaze as he relaxed into your touch. Not daring to move his hand too much or he might risk ruining the moment, afraid of hurting you with his claws.

Approaching the Ferris wheel he finally spoke, “this is probably the one ride that won’t break”, not a peep about holding you. “Do you want to go on?”

You finally caught his gaze, absolutely melting at the smile in his eyes. Responding with a ‘yes’ and letting him open the door for you. Sustaining his grip with you as he helped you on, not letting go even after you sat.

The cart wasn’t exactly small, but with a guy the size of Jack it was pretty compacted. It’s not like you minded, the lack of space gave you an excuse to bunch up alongside him. The feathers from his pads tickling your face as you rested on him.

Watching the view as the cart took you higher and higher, it was perfect. The evening set in the rich obscurity of the night, lights of the festival blinking as if they had a life of their own. The bulbs on the stands making z’s as they illuminated the red and white drapes of the far off tents.

Jack held your hand with such care and caress, you gave him a reassuring press to let him know it was ok. He was so enveloped with the passionate act that he squeezed as well. Letting you feel all the dips and curves of his hand. Clutching onto you, as if you might disappear too.

Facing him to cup his cheek with your free hand, caressing him and tucking a stand of hair behind his ear. Trailing your thumb across his skin and feeling him lean into your touch, swearing that between the lines on the pad of your finger there was a tear that you had wiped away.

Getting lost in the breaths you shared as you inched closer to his lips, giving him a second of warmth longer to prove that you weren’t going anywhere.

[the-queen-of-fools]

Good Vibes Only

Word count: 1445 Pairing: Dave York x gn!reader (no y/n, no descriptions of reader, no pronouns) Rating: 18+ Warnings: smut, D/s, sub!Dave, swearing, ass play, butt plug use, vibrator use, remote control toy, edging, orgasm delay, handjob, public play, explicit descriptions, AU (no Carol or kids), soft!Dave.

A/N: sub!Dave York lives in my brain, and heart, rent free. All BDSM activities should be safe, sane, and consensual between 2 (or more) adults. I have written this as if it were a real situation, within a long term relationship where non verbal cues are known and are recognised. Please note: A Dominant has a responsibility to look after a submissive, including paying attention to signs that something in play is too much, even when a sub does not use their safe words. I also wrote and rewrote the debrief section multiple times, and in reality it would be more in depth. I feel it’s a little bit clunky, but it’s important to be there, which is why it’s left in even with me not being perfectly happy with it. Don’t take this fic as a guide or gospel. However, if someone ignores your limits and/or use of a safe word, that is always abuse.

And, of course, don’t steal my work, repost it, or claim it as your own.

— — —

@silverwolf319, @caesaryoulater, @anxiousandboujee, @wyn-dixie, @aliengxrl, @rav3n-pascal22, @green-socks, @dragcn-queen, @buttercup–bee, @chasingdreamer, @amneris21, @sugarontherims, @kesskirata, @ravensmutty, @dindjarinneedsahug, @allmahfeels, @phoenix-of-loki, @cookiecat22, @rrtxcmt, @mouthymandalorian, @danniburgh, @alleycat5135, @callsigncatfish, @djarinsbeskar, @asta-lily, @the-ginger-hedge-witch, @agentalpha, @disgruntledspacedad

— — —

Dave squirms in his seat. He frowns, and clenches his fist, the tension turning his knuckles pale. You turn the toy down, and watch him relax again...

...

“You like it Dave? I got it just for you.” He stares at it. It looks like a plug, albeit a slightly different shape than the ones you already have, but it has an extra curved part to it that leaves him wondering. “I... it’s a plug, but. What is this part?” He asks, pointing.  “Oh. So, you’re right, this goes inside you, and this,” you run a finger over the part he pointed at, “this sits against the taint. The very base of your balls.” He nods, humming to himself in understanding. “But if you don’t like it, we don’t have to use it-” “No. No, I do.” He blushes. You lift yourself up onto your toes, lean close to his ear and whisper. “It vibrates.” You see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. You continue, “I can control it from my phone. I don’t even have to touch you to make you cum.” His eyes widen before squeezing shut, the blush dusting his cheeks deepening in colour, and letting out a small whimper.  

You move yourself back down, feet flattening onto the floor again. One of your hands raise to jaw, your thumb stroking his cheekbone. “I was wondering, and you can say no, if you might want to have some fun with it out...” His eyes open suddenly, brows pulling together, creasing in the middle. “Out, like out in public?” You nod in reply, trying to decide if it’s a little too far. You love each other, trust each other absolutely, but Dave is usually the one that asks to take things further. You worry if you ask too much of him, it’ll push him away. It wasn’t a limit for either of you. Public play had been a curiosity of his from the start of your relationship, even before he told you his submissive desires. You’d tease each other in public, he once made you cum on his fingers in a cafe. But this? Was it too much? You were so in your thoughts you almost missed him say “okay. Where? When?” Shit. You hadn’t figured that out yet, you’d only thought of it within the house. Dave wearing nothing but this in bed. Dave wearing it under clothes watching a movie on the sofa. “I haven’t thought about that. Maybe we can talk about it together?”

...

You’re sat in a booth at the back of the restaurant with Dave. You haven’t turned the vibration on yet, letting him get used to the fullness first. His hand is on your knee, rubbing circles with his thumb. You’re looking at the menu, deciding on what you’re each going to have when you place your chin on his shoulder. “You ready, baby?” You ask him, placing your phone on the table. “Remember what we talked about?” He nods, and squeezes your knee once  to signal he’s ready. You smile, raise a brow, and kiss his cheek. A quick wink, and you reach for your phone, turning it on to the lowest level. He sucks a breath in, and your smile spreads further across your face. “I love you, honey,” you tell him as you look back at the menu.

You had talked it all through, once he’d expressed his interest in wearing it in public. Discussed where was or wasn’t suitable, how many people he’d be okay with being around, who exactly were no-gos. You already knew you would never embarrass or humiliate him, and you wouldn’t do anything that may affect his work in any way. The two of you had agreed that you’d use your judgement for levels once you knew how loud it was, or how affected Dave would be. That if he got hard, you’d stop and allow him to soften again before restarting, and as always, safe words could be used by either of you, if needed. You’d shown him the plug’s different vibration levels (5 in total) and the ease which you could move from high to low, or stop it completely if necessary.

While looking through the menu, you turn up the level a step. He blinks, moving a little before relaxing again. It can’t be heard over the chattering of everyone. Once you see that your waiter is about to come over, you stop it. The waiter comes, takes your orders, and as he goes, you return the vibration straight back to level 2. Dave bites his lip to prevent a moan, and you kiss his cheek again, whispering words of praise and encouragement to him. You lower it as your drinks arrive, checking in on how he’s feeling before increasing it back up again. He moans softly, and you rub up and down his thigh. “You sound like you’re having fun, Dave. Such a good boy, making such sweet sounds.” He nods his head softly, whimpering, and gives you a small smile. 

The level is reduced again when the food arrives. Once it’s just you and Dave again, you increase it again for a while you eat and chat. Next, you start to alternate back and forth between 2 and 3, before settling at the latter. Dave sighs, but continues eating, though a little slower.  You move the plug’s level up to 4. Dave squirms in his seat. He frowns, and clenches his fist, the tension turning his knuckles pale. You turn the toy back down to level 2, and watch him relax again in his seat. “David, is this still fun?” He nods, but you’re not sure, “do you want me to stop until after dinner?” He doesn’t nod, but doesn’t shake his head either. “David, baby.” He looks up, and meets your gaze. “I’m going to turn it back to the lowest level and keep it there until we leave.”  He frowns again, but nods without protest. “Thank you, honey,” he whispers, lifting your hand to his mouth and kissing it softly. 

...

The vibration stays at the lowest level while you both eat dinner, and continue the date. Once the bill is paid, and walk through the restaurant doors, you put the level up. Dave grabs your hand and squeezes, pulling you back close to him. You smile, walk to the car, opening the passenger door for him, and then get into the drivers seat yourself. The second you pull the door to, he leans across to you, holding your face firmly as he kisses you.  “David. Sit back.” You say when you part, and he does so immediately. “Poor baby.” You unbuckle his belt, undo the button and unzip his trousers, “was it too difficult?” You reach your hand into his underwear, pull his hardened cock out, and grip it. You arch a brow, and whisper with a smile, “was I too mean?” You lick a stripe up his neck, and he bucks his hips upwards as his eyes squeeze shut and he groans deeply. “Oh, baby. You did so well, David. You deserve a reward.” You turn the level up again, and stroke his cock slowly.  Eyes still closed, Dave whimpers, breathing out your name like a prayer. “Please, honey. Shit, shit.” Speeding your strokes and raising the vibration level one final time makes Dave cry out “please, fuck, please?” The moment he is given permission, he cums over your hand, panting hard, clenching his fists tightly. You turn the plug off, still stroking his cock until his high is over, and his breath begins to even out and slow. He pants out, “thank you, honey, fuck.” He takes your cum-covered hand and cleans it with his pocket square before resting his forehead on yours, “thank you.”

Once the two of you got home, Dave pulls you to him, wraps his arms around you, holding your back to his chest, and walks you upstairs to bed. You get ready for bed and spend the night content in each other’s arms.

…

You talked it through with Dave the next morning. He assured you he had been having fun, it wasn’t too much. But concentrating on not moaning loudly had taken up more of his thought processes than he had imagined, and so trying to answer questions became difficult at the higher levels. He really loved it in the car though, when he didn’t have to hold back, and explained how eager he was to fuck you wearing it, or be tied up and edged over and over with it. Just not in public again until after a bit more training…

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

The angst request for Xenia where Mc broke up with her basically saying she was faking to get to the throne Broke me! (Kudos to the writer it was Great!) could I request a fluffy continuation where it was a nightmare and Xenia wakes up gasping awaking Mc who is beside her and is like “love are you okay” because yes mc loves her everything is fine I’m not crying mc I yawned but please hug me very tightly now and reassure me of your love- i went off lol but- please? 🥺

Written by: @virtueassassin​

The thick darkness that invades my vision like fumes, starts to blur and specks of light come alive as I hear my love’s voice in fear and desperation.

“Xenia! Wake up! It’s just a nightmare, it’s not real”

Finally fully awake, and the very first thing that I see is Mc staring at me with concern. Not knowing where I was, I looked around and recognizing that I was in my room. That was one of the places I felt safe and secure while out of my room. I had to be someone who was formal and somewhat “regal”. But more than any, Mc was the one who made me feel at home based on how my soul felt the cradle touch of her living presence. I slightly rose and Mc’s arms were around me, giving me the comfort that I needed without telling her, also feeling her swiping the sweat off my forehead that I didn’t notice was there.

“Are you alright? You were turning and gripping the sheets like you were holding on before a deadly fall” She whispered as she took tugs a hair strand to the back of my ear.

I close my eyes and sigh as I hold Mc’s hand that fits onto mine like it was meant to be. I let my fingers trace the shape and curves of her knuckles. Memorizing the hands that touch me with warmth, tenderness, and love.

I open to turn and see the eyes that are as green as the crips and shears or drips of the ocean sea. Realizing every moment makes the clock stop, the ocean waves come to a pause, and the halt of the moon rising above the million little lives of many. Feeling yourself get lost in them as you look to see hope and trust.

“I’m alright...it was just a bad dream. I’m sorry to wake you Mc, let's go back to bed” I said.

Just as I’m about to turn the other side of the bed, Mc places her hand on my shoulder and gives it a small squeeze.

“You are not okay, please tell me what happened”

I sigh as I turn back to cup her face with my hands with full affection.

“Don’t worry about it, besides I know that you love me and it’s worth more than any golden coins anyone can ever offer” I smile.

Mc doesn’t ask again but both of our foreheads touch and share this moment of peace that is close towards idyllic. Nor a clock turning clockwise or counterclockwise, just the small perfect moment of peace that we both shared in each other’s arms.

“Do you want something warm to drink to help you sleep? I don’t mind running to the kitchens” She asked.

I give her a sly smile as I know something way more than a warm drink to help me sleep away just as I stare at her perfect claret heart-shaped lips.

“Well...my dear queen. I do prefer something else than a drink to help me sleep if you don’t mind”

Mc right away realizes what I want, that she slightly chuckles.

“Well, I guess it’ll help you dream of something else then” She murmured.

And I let her lips that I always claim them to touch mine and mine only. Tasting the sweetness of honey or close towards the satisfying tang of wine. Feeling the moment around me knows the difference between reality and a dream, the bitterness touches between the lively warm heat strokes, and finally, that nightmare is nothing compared to the one true angel who saved me in my darkest times. That finally brought some rays of sunlight for the first time after a long eternal winter season.

[yandere-wishes]

𝕊𝕖𝕝𝕗-𝕃𝕠𝕒𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 🐚Yandere! leviathan X Reader🐚

I’m trying out a new writing style, so please let me know what you think! This story is rather abstract and switches a bit between reader POV and Leviathan’s POV.

WARNINGS: VERY DARK, suicidal themes, self harm, mild gore, verbal abuse, self-hatred, objectification and cursing.

🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚

ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴀɴ ᴏʟᴅ ꜱᴀʏɪɴɢ, ᴀɴ ᴏʟᴅ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ꜱᴀʏɪɴɢ: "ᴏᴘᴘᴏꜱɪᴛᴇꜱ ᴀᴛᴛʀᴀᴄᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱɪᴍɪʟᴀʀ ʀᴇᴘᴇʟꜱ". ʙᴜᴛ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ʜᴀꜱ ᴀɴʏ ʟᴏɢɪᴄ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ʀᴇᴀʟᴍ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛʀᴇꜱᴘᴀꜱꜱᴇᴅ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟᴅᴏᴍ?

The two of you were the same, cut from the exact same depressing, aversion cloth. 

The two of you were mangled disjointed creatures with lanky brittle bones made up of self-loathing and mismatched hatred. Broken from displaced frustration and indecent, vulgar tendencies, that no one could snuff out of either of you. 

Instead of guts and intestines both you, the lowly human, and him, the feared sea serpent, had long strings of pity that coiled inside your stomachs.

Eyes as green as the ripest emerald blinded by endless, unchecked envy towards all things that so much as breathed.

Rotting pink brains filled with nothing but depressive thoughts and screeching banshee-like voices that never seem to cease. 

Yes, you and Leviathan were the exact same thing...

There's a certain aroma that floats and flocks around a person with such low regard for themselves. Where ever you walked a thick suffocating cloud of despair followed like a lost limping mutt. Pure unaltered self-disgust rolls off you like waves in the middle of a storm.

This is one of the things Leviathan loves about you, the intoxicating saddening aura that you wear like the finest perfumes. Although if caught like a deer in headlights, the sea serpent would just lie through his shark-like teeth and make some remarks about your pretty smile or shiny eyes. 

Truth is, he HATES when you smile. Hated when hope and joy and all things bright and good twinkle in your eyes like the flicker of a newborn star. 

Oh no, you're all so much prettier when you frown, when you look like your lust for life is all died out. When your eyes twinkle with that sort of sweet despair like all your hope has gotten engulfed by a black hole. 

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

There's something wrong with you. You don't know what, but it's there, you can feel it everywhere you go. 

Maybe it's the repulsive way your skin is stretched so suffocatingly thin across your bones. Or maybe it's the way you pick at your open scars, digging deeper and deeper past blazing red tissue until it starts to bleed again. 

Whatever it is you aren't sure, but something is most definitely wrong with you. 

maybe that's why, on a particularly bad, paranoid day, you finally decide to just end it. 

Although it's never that simple is it?

There's something no one ever tells you about the cessation of life. A mysterious negative hour that happens just as the last atom of oxygen is departing from your lungs. A negative one, a negative two, and if you get expressly unlucky than also a negative three. This is usually when you start to wonder if you did it right, if the rope is too loose or hung too low. The dam of reality breaks and all uncertainty pours through with no real regard for what it's destroying. Are you're really still alive? Or is this some post-mortem induced dream? Everything makes about as much sense as when you were alive, only now it's foggy and ambiguous and all so distant like a far off dream...

It's also the time when every good memory comes rushing back, spilling carelessly akin to the blood gushing from the vain you slashed a month ago. You're dying far too slowly and all too semi-lucidly.

This is far from how you thought your escape plan would go.

The plan shatters even more when you actually open your eyes again and realize that you're no longer dangling from the ceiling. Instead, you're wrapped in some sort of lukewarm blanket, trapped between glacial white walls that bite at your fingers why you try to push them away.

And staring down at you with a sort of raw envy that your human mind couldn't fabricate, was non other than the third born himself.

Up to this day you still don't know who saved you, the seven brothers treat the whole ordeal like Pandora's box, tucking it under volts of diamond and throwing the key into the abyss. As long as it stays out of sight, out of tongue's reach and ears range then it'll surely be out of mind. Everything will be just fine so long as lord Diavolo doesn't hear what happened to the precious little human. Everything is just fine if everyone ignores it.

Personally, you don't mind the outcome. You're restrained to Levi's room, being under his watch and alleged "care" for all hours of the day. It's to keep you safe Lucifer assures, although your own guilt likes to twist the words into something more like, "It's to get rid of a nuisance".

Either which way life starts to escalate just a tiny bit.

Funny how even self-loathing and inner hatred seem to fade away when there's someone to share the pain with.

Soon it's no longer "I wish I could die" or "why can't I just be God damn good enough!"

but rather "We seriously should split a suicide built" and "Wouldn't it be fun if we both dive off a cliff head first into lava?"

With someone just as aggravated and self-destructive as yourself, things start to look up...that is until you do the unforgivable, at least so it's written in Levi's demented book. 

You step too far, you start to ask things, start to pry into things that shouldn't matter to you.

And then you do it, the worst of the worst, you smile...

Straight after asking him such a revolting sincere question

"What do you think about life?" 

It's meant to be rhetorical, you TRY to make it sound rhetorical. But any social norms or form of sarcasm goes over Levi's head like the basketballs he's never able to catch. His attention snaps to you, like a snake being alerted that a predator is a near...or prey, again it's really impossible to tell.

 His neck cranes at an odd angle as his tail curls inwards. For a split millisecond, you can swear on your almost grave that you see his tongue dart out before zipping back into his toothy mouth. Predator, he definitely sees you as a predator.

"Baby, not much...I-i want to die"

Time doesn't stop, not even when all understanding and logic have tipped their hats at the door and disappeared into the great beyond. Leviathan's slit eyes stare at you, behind all the pain and broken anger, for just an instant you think you see the fragments of understanding shine, brighter than the never setting moon. 

He's just like you, 

You're just like him,

That's when the trouble creeps over. The corners of your mouth take a turn upwards and push your cheeks back, making way for a grin. It's faint and ghostly at best...up it's there.

It just has to be there....

That godforsaken satisfied smile. 

When you're attention flicker's to Levi again you notice his arm pulling back, throwing the controller across the room with anger worst than anything Satan could summon upon his worst day. 

"Don't fucking do that!"

You're stoned in place, eyes too scared to move from the sea snake, what went wrong? Why does something always go wrong?

"D-do what..?" 

It's not your fault that you're voice shakes and breaks, not your fault that the room starts to spiral out of control. It's his fault, all his fault...but is anything ever really his fault?

"Don't look happy! Or hopeful! You look so freaking ugly when you smile!"

His voice is shockingly low, like a mother trying to get her child to settle down after a tantrum. He's borderline cooing at you to "act" properly again. Never the less the venom and disgust are steel audible, glittering like a silver lining.

For once though it's not worth it to stop smiling, all the screams and yells and depravities of the world can't erase this smile from your face.

"Six thousand-year-old demon and you actually dream of death rather than eternal hell on earth or torturing the damned? You really are a broken one Leviathan."

The blue-haired sea monster just shrugs in reply before slithering closer, wrapping his slender bony arms around your waist, they feel like Thamnophis coiling around your midsection, sinking into your flesh. His heavy head falls onto your lap, you can practically hear all the outcries of jealousy and cries of purified agony. 

"What can I say...we're both two disgusting broken things that have no right to live or any claim to happiness...but well, fuck happiness who needs it...right?

Yeah, who needs a thing that only creeps into the heart under perfect circumstances and that floats away at the drop of a feather, who needs happiness and joy, when the two of you can forevermore rot in your own envy and depression....together.

Always together

Rotting forever.

"Right...screw happiness and all it's stupid worth."

🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

[marshmallowprotection]

Iris

Pairing: Choi Saeran/Reader, 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character

Description: Was there faith in a false paradise with a savior that spilled honey sweet lies to make you agree? There is no life to be found amongst those in a rotting flowerbed, only those clinging to the roots as the world awaits your demise. Why is he still here when others had long been plucked from the dying earth? And better yet, why are you still here after everything, clinging to his roots as if he’ll bring you life? Or is he the one clinging to you?

SE Saeran x Former Believer Reader

Word Count: 5900

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[Read On AO3]

Chapter Two

The world didn’t stop spinning just because you were struggling to come to grips with reality all over again. 

No, people continued to live their lives because that was just the way that the world worked. 

It was a cruel but harsh reality that you needed to face but facing it was something that had to be done no matter how you felt about it. Mint Eye was no more and you had to find out how to live your life again amongst the seas of people. 

There was really nobody looking for you or waiting for you out on the other side of the mountains. That had been why it’d been so very easy for them to ensnare you in their waiting trenches in the first place. 

Because you had no one and you were no one. 

In the eyes of the world, you had felt for so very long that you were nothing. You didn’t think that your existence meant anything and when the extended hand of the Savior met yours, she’d made you feel like you could do something for the world to be noticed and acknowledged. 

She was a smooth talker that could’ve convinced anyone to walk into the fire with the wave of her hand. You never even thought twice. She had made you believe in something that wound up hurting you in ways that you were going to be dealing with for the rest of your life. 

No matter how far you traveled. 

No matter where you went to. 

No matter who you spoke to. 

No matter what you did from this point onward. 

Mint Eye clung to you like a layer of dust would lay out in the attic over your forgotten storage items. It blanketed you and left you feeling like a fish out of water. You knew that it had changed you long ago but you didn’t know just how much it’d affected you until you were thrust away to a world that you’d been taught to believe wanted you dead. 

Why would you think otherwise when the sweet words of the Savior burned like crisp caramel bark? It always sounded like a dream world where nothing could hurt you, but to achieve the loss of pain, you had to suffer through trial after trial to prove yourself through pain that was declared to be the only way to save you. 

You were just some nobody that had found a flyer that looked sketchy, but the friendly hand that gave it to you reassured you that this was a good place to find shelter and work. You’d taken the offer because you were tired. 

Tired of being alone and lost with no support on your side. 

It was like a fantasy from the moment you stepped inside. It was a castle and beckoned its guest with open and waiting hands. They treated you kindly, gave you a room, food to eat, and people to talk to that listened for once. It was lovebombing. They made you feel special and twisted you up until you couldn’t think straight. 

It was a pile of gifts hiding a poison underneath. 

By the time you looked deeper at what was happening around you, there was no way to turn around. Your stomach twisted in self-doubt and you let yourself walk forward with blind faith. The Savior’s smile and warm words during every evening ceremony left you sitting in the aisle and ruminating over how you could be special enough to save. 

The memory alone of her welcoming you to Mint Eye was the strongest memory that you could feel. She said that you were blessed because not every believer was welcomed to the religion by her hand. It was an honor, she had claimed. An honor that came with twisted words and burning lungs that were desperate for air. 

Cleansings. 

Salvation. 

Paradise. 

The words fluttered in one ear and out of the other without pause. At some point, you stopped making sense of what she was saying and only focused on the pain. The only words that would click now and again happened when they synced in tandem with the pain itself. There were many words like that that set you off.

Just like the feeling something cold and wet against your skin made you shudder, shiver, and shake from fear of what would come from that. They would lock you away in the basement, in the dark away from the rest of the world until you were too scared to think straight. You would spend hours down there until they decided to expend the effort on the cleansing. 

The pain that came when you didn’t respond to her the correct way? It was a cycle that never stopped. Many believers were able to slip into the seas of the group and avoid anything more than a weekly ceremony, taken willingly. 

For others that weren’t as lucky, it may come for them every day, or every other day. It was for their own good, she would say. You had slipped through the cracks for the first two months that you lived in Magenta. But that didn’t last for long. 

You made a choice and that decision had led to something that changed the course of fate. The cleansings had became more of a constant and the smallest mistake would lead the woman to grip your face in her hands and force the liquid down your throat over and over again. It almost felt less like a helping process and more of a vendetta. 

It was a punishment. 

At the time, you didn’t realize just how deep you’d fallen into the hole, but once you were in it, there was no turning back. There was no ladder or rope to help you escape. You nearly burned in the process of your choices and your face still burned as you thought of the elixir and what it had done to you… 

The person that it made you.

You didn’t want to linger on the memory but you had felt the sting of cleansing so many times that it was engraved in the back of your skull. It was what woke you up in the dead of night with screams of terror. Sometimes it would be bad enough that you wouldn’t even have the ability to use your voice anymore, just breathlessly staring with dread written across your face.

Nightmares were commonplace these days, but it wasn’t like you were the only one suffering. 

Mint Eye had hundreds of believers in their ranks. You weren’t sure of the real official count or anything but you knew that there were hundreds. It wasn’t in the thousands, but it certainly had gotten close to that point by the time that you’d joined the group. It was just hundreds of people crowding the same huge building to hide away from the world. 

You didn’t know most of the believers by name. 

You knew each other by your number and title for the longest time. You were just the lonely little C404 to the rest of the Mint Eye’s factions. You were just another number in the stream meant to believe that your number in this place was meant to make you special. Individuality wasn’t a real thing in a cult.

What was special about everyone having a number as their name? 

The ploy was to throw away the given name that you’d been given by the outsider world and accept a blank slate in paradise, something new for the perfect you to be born. But that didn’t change a single thing. Just another number that was no different than being another face in the crowd. A number was no different than a name, but it robbed you of your individuality. 

Yet, Rika Kim, the Savior, made it sound like it was wonderful and amazing. 

She made everything sound like that. Everything. She painted the world in a technicolor that could make someone people that the sky was green and the grass was blue. She knew just the way to make someone twist around and listen to whatever she said. You were no different than anyone else, it didn’t take long for her to wear you down. 

It was the longest fever dream that you’d ever had, but it had been real. 

Every moment was real. 

There were parts of it that you tried not to think about because it would affect you so badly. The parts that you wanted to swallow it down and pretend were gone just so that you could survive another day and believe once again. Those parts were the ones that were still hurting you to the terrors that you woke up to every night. 

The memories of Mint Eye were crystal clear but coated with an emerald glaze.

Mint glasses in which you viewed the world in such a way that warped every sense of your being by all accounts. Who you were before you went into Mint Eye was different from the person that you were today. The same could be said for the others that managed to escape the compound and get away from the cult for good. 

In retrospect and with the help of therapy, you were able to see how they tricked you and easily it was for cults to gaslight and brainwash helpless victims. It made you feel like you were stupid to believe in something like that, but you had been desperate and so many others had fallen for the very same thing. Nobody was stupid for falling for a trap. 

The only person to blame was the ones that held all the cards over everyone. 

Rika Kim, you had to remind yourself to say her name aloud instead of calling her the Savior, was the one that was to blame for the cultivation of Mint Eye and was the one who personally started everything that happened to begin. She was the one that had to face punishment for her crimes.

Those that worked with her at the top of the group were also facing grave punishment for the elixir and channeling money into the ground. You weren’t sure of all of the details because the media was hounding on anything that they could get their hands on when it came to Mint Eye and the people who suffered and cruelly prospered. 

There were a lot of rumors and uncertainty. 

It wasn’t like they were telling any of you what was going on. Most people that were recovering together in group therapy on a bi-weekly basis didn’t discuss what was happening. 

Everyone had deeply different personal experiences with the group and unpacking the current state of affairs in the world with Mint Eye was something that was handled in their one-on-one therapy. 

It was not a great sight if someone walked in and said something that they heard on the news. It was hard enough to manage the progress on your own, but knowing that plenty of people were likely to be dragged into trial when it came up was already a reality that nobody wanted to face yet. It was already real, but cementing it deeper didn’t help some people.

Grief and the cycle of these emotions was different for everyone. You’d seen people shut down and ignore everything to pretend that they were okay. You’d see people regress and repeat the mantra over and over again. You’d see people trapped in terrors and beg for mercy from a ghost that was no longer in the room.

And, that had just been during your hospital stay months ago when this all started. When this new life of yours had begun, but your mind was still in Mint Eye. It didn’t matter how far you went, those memories were still etched into your body and into your eyes. You couldn’t stand the sight of mirrors anymore because your eyes had clouded into the brightest shade that the elixir had to offer up. 

It was one thing to deal with it on your own, you would repeat, it was another to be dredged into a conversation that you couldn’t handle. It was a mess. Everyone was in different places with the trauma from the cult. C&R was trying to take care of everyone who was rescued but there were so many patients to care for. 

You didn’t know where many of the believers had gone, only knowing the few that lingered in your group. They were all taken care of by the company because they were the ones that burst into the complex and took everything down. It wasn’t the actual police force. It was a private group that worked for Jumin Han’s company. 

Many people slipped through the cracks and faded from reality. They got to see loved ones and family again, and they got the help they needed. Those people faded whereas the ones that were left behind, like you were, had to deal with the system and find a way to make sense of your very small world. 

Some people were able to adapt better back to the world. Some were able to find their way to get jobs again and integrate back into society. But, you? You weren’t capable of that and you knew it wasn’t likely that anyone would allow you to do such at this rate. The only thing that kept you on solid ground was the help of Jumin Han.

You didn’t want to think about that right now. 

But, life didn’t care whether you wanted to think about that or not. It continued to happen and it continued to leave you behind in the dust. You were standing still, eyes locked on the sky as the world spun around the sun. Your outstretched hand meant nothing because you could neve reach the stars. 

It always felt like everyone else was able to accept what happened but they didn’t go through what you went through. 

When it came to group therapy, everyone was talking about what they’d gone through and how they were trying to process it. You hadn’t exactly wanted to get involved in it. You didn’t walk into the group therapy willingly, it had been suggested to you by your doctor since you were in the group of some of the most victimized members. 

It had been something like, “It’s better to process these emotions with people that understand exactly what you went through, [Y/N].” 

For the most part, you just sat in the background and didn’t say much. You weren’t interested in talking about it with anyone except… 

“[Y/N],” you jolted to attention from your thoughts as you heard the sound of a voice. Oh, right, you weren’t supposed to get distracted when you were with the others. You often found yourself looking out of the windows instead of at the environment around you. You missed the sky, but a part of you felt like maybe you were trying to find something in the sky. 

What was that he saw? 

You said, “Huh? Oh, sorry.” 

“You’ve been doing that a lot lately,” the man commented with a nod. He waited for a moment before he added, “Would you like to share anything that’s on your mind, then? Everyone here is more than understanding to what you may be dealing with. You’re always free to speak up if it helps.” 

He was the one in charge of making sure that everyone felt safe here. You didn’t mind him all that much, but since you didn’t want to be here in the first place, his attempts at trying to get you to open up weren’t exactly getting him any place any time soon. He was good at his job but you weren’t interested. 

What point was there? 

The only person that you wanted was… 

“I don’t have anything to add that someone hasn’t already said, Mr. Kim,” you said, dryly. “I’d say there’s really no benefit.” 

The few pairs of eyes that were on you knew what you were getting at. Plenty of believers knew who you were by name alone so you doubted they were surprised by your attitude. Anyone could think what they wanted to think. You didn’t care what they thought because that part of you just shut off after you’d lost yourself.  

“They’re not going to say anything,” another one of the group nudged his shoulder with a little shake of his head. “They never talked back to that place. You’re not going to get anything out of them.” 

“Well,” he kept his polite disposition as he looked over at the rest of the group. “That’s alright. It’s alright if you don’t have anything to add. This is about providing safety and support if you want to talk. If you’d like to refrain and listen to everyone else, that’s alright. But, we’re happy to listen to anyone who wants to talk.”

It was the same spiel that he had to give to anyone that needed to hear it. You didn’t want it. You had never wanted it for yourself. You were already dealing with this on your own, and there was just too much to unpack. You didn’t want to open up because you knew too much to be able to talk to anyone else. 

You were too ingrained in something and yet, you knew nothing at all. You knew nothing and yet, they thought you knew enough to help them unpack and unlock things for the trial that was going to happen. That thought normally made your throat feel like it was going swell up and close so you smiled politely and hid behind it. 

If everyone wanted to believe that you were a loner that hated the world, they could believe that all they wanted. Nobody ever understood you and the only person who ever had was far from the reach that you had. You sucked in a breath and waited for the focus in the room to shift from the quiet tension. 

“Actually, is it alright if I say something…?” 

“Of course, Min-Jun.” 

“Well… it’s just about what they…” 

They went back to talking and you looked back out of the window. 

The sky was blue today, as blue as it had been in a while. There were some clouds but not too many. That was the only thing that you wanted to see. Once you were free from this session, you figured that you would go and lay in the park or something since it was the better thing for you to do than head back to the hotel. 

Anything but that, you thought. 

—

As it turned out, you didn't have free time afterward. You got a brief text on your phone and that meant that you had business to take care of. It was still early into the afternoon so it wasn't like it was going to take up your whole day, but you never look forward to any of this.

You knew that it was going to be sometime this week that he was going to contact you. You have been through this song and dance many times already. You didn't know how you saying the same thing over and over was going to change anything. 

You stuck to your story and trying to unwrap more of it wasn't going to change anything in the present. 

Nor was it going to change anything that had already happened.

There was no fixing what happened in Mint Eye. 

There was no bringing back the people that got hurt or got killed. There was no way to mend things that were broken. You knew this because the reality that you were living wasn't the one that you wanted. You understood that no matter what you said to them, it wasn't going to make anyone feel like they we're going to be able to accept all of everything. 

Yet, you suspected that Jumin Han was trying to make sense of everything that happened. He was trying to understand everything that happened to the two people that he had called friends. Well, it must’ve been hard for someone to realize that the people that they thought they knew weren’t those people at all. 

He wanted answers and he wanted to understand why his friend did what he did. It wasn't like you had the answers. You barely knew anything about the tumultuous past of Jihyun Kim and Rika Kim. You didn't know anything about the people that they used to be or the people that everyone thought that they were. 

You only knew them through the lens of your mint colored glasses.

The Savior was very complex and apathetic. She could truly make you believe that she cared about you, but in reality, she did not care about you at all. It was a cruel reality to realize after having been tricked into believing that she loved you like a child. Rika was someone that still made your stomach twist in knots. 

The very idea of seeing her again or having to stomach anything that involved her did not make you happy. The last time you had seen her, she had made you pay for it. She had done things to you that you still couldn't speak about. However, there was a part of you that wanted her to pay for what she’d done. 

Yet, the most prominent part of you just wanted to bury the memory away and pray that it never bothered you ever again. But, you weren’t exactly someone who had a say in the matter. 

There’d only been a handful of believers involved in the organization that were close enough to Rika who had a good idea of what she was working towards, and apart from you, you knew that he spoke to them. He never spoke to everyone together because he was trying to piece together who was a liar and who wasn’t. 

You certainly hadn’t lied to him. 

There was no point in lying to Jumin Han. You knew that he was the type that wanted to get to work more than anything. If there was one thing that you noticed when you were researching all of the RFA by his side, you had noticed many key factors of their personalities that were meant to be seen as flaws but you couldn’t help but think they were beneficial as well. 

Loyalty until the end, huh? 

Perhaps, you and Jumin had that in common.

After all, you couldn’t deny that you felt a kinship. However, it wasn’t like you to go out of your way to interact with him. It was hard to be around the RFA after they had been concepts and constructs as opposed to tangible people for so long. The only people that you spoke to expressly were Jumin Han and Jaehee Kang, but being close to them—

It just made you wary to open up wounds that could reopen if you interacted with them. It wasn’t their fault that the idea of them made you uncomfortable, and it wasn’t them explicitly that truly bothered you. It was the organization of the cult and what it established around trying to trick all of them that got to you.

He assured you time and time again that you were going to interact with any of them. What he had with you and his investigators had nothing to do with them. Mint Eye was tightly locked up together underneath a file of lock and key for the safety of the victims involved. Still, being in a room with him every now and again made you… 

You settled back into your seat as Jumin sat across from you, “We’re back to this then, are we? I can’t help but wonder how you’re holding up.” 

Nobody wanted to comment on it. However, you could tell that this man was having long nights and even longer days. Yet, he kept up his looks and made sure that everyone thought that he was not going to crumble and shatter within an instant. But, you knew better than that. You knew so much better than that. 

“I could say the same for you, couldn’t I, [Y/N]?” His response was as it always was, simply dry but straightforward. “After all, we’ve been going through the same duress. At least, that’s what I recall you saying the last time we spoke.”

“I suppose you can say that,” you said. 

He sighed. “Well, you’re one of the few people that is aware of the grievous acts that took place. This isn’t something that anyone can handle lightly. However, what needs to be done must be done. I’m sure you understand that.” 

“I do, which is why I’m telling you that you’re not going to find answers in talking to me. I only knew the person that was willing to do anything for the sake of keeping Rika safe, no matter how much that put everyone at risk. I’m sorry that Jihyun… in any case, I don’t think anything that I can tell you is ever going to be enough for you, Jumin.”

Jumin ran a hand through his hair and brushed back his locks back from his face. That tenseness in his shoulders wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. You did feel for the guy, but there was no denying that you weren’t going to be able to help him here. The only reason that you were still humoring any of this was because… 

You wondered if one day he may ever tell you what happened to him. 

“I understand that you’re hurting, Jumin. You’ve done a lot for me and everyone else that found Mint Eye. I cannot repay you for the kindness that you’ve given to him and so many other people this past year,” you said, carefully. “I’m just not sure that I’m ever going to have what those answers you want. I can’t tell you why Jihyun did what he did. I only knew one side of him, and as it turns out, you only knew one side, too.”

Your eyes were still locked on the window that was behind him, where the sky glimmered with freedom. You wished that you were out there right now, doing nothing but feeling the rays of the sunlight. You wouldn’t have to worry about anything or anyone if you were outside. Being locked tightly away from prying eyes for months makes you long to be outside all the time.

The fact of the matter was: Life was never going to be fair to anyone that went through it, and it was better to accept that as it was. Nobody was going to be who they said they were and you needed to be aware that you could be hurt just as much as you could be loved by another person. Turning a blind eye to everything… 

Only got you burned in the end, didn’t it? 

Jumin hadn’t responded. 

“But, it’s not like you can tell me what I want to know, either,” you said. That was what caught his attention and made him look at you for a change. “That last day… that last day in Mint Eye wasn’t a good one. I mean, no day in Mint Eye was seemingly a good day, but the final day was something I’d rather not discuss. If you want me to sit here over and over and tell you about how I interacted with Jihyun now and again, I can.”

“Or, even Rika for that matter, Jumin. As far as I know from what little news I’ve heard, she’s been cataonic ever since the incident. But, whatever answers you’re trying to find about him died with him and they’ll stay dead with him. He was always hiding something from people when he’d speak to them. I can tell you this, on that final day,” you took in a deep breath as the memory started to flood into your mind. 

You could remember it even now. 

It wasn’t something that you felt like you could talk about for a long time. It was only through therapy that you were able to even consider brushing the subject with the tip of your fingers. Still, it burned the edge of your mind whenever it sprang up like this. You could remember every detail down to the letter as it played out in front of you. 

Flashes of those memories hit you one after the other: Rika punishing you and blaming you for what happened to him, time passing around you before Jihyun spoke to you in the dungeons as the feeling of acid and vinegar burned your soul, and then, he appeared again and locked you away, burning a frantic memory into your mind as hissed words haunted you: “Stay here and don’t fucking move a muscle. I can’t trust any of them! I can’t believe she did this to you! I can’t believe she did this to me! This is a fucking nightmare, Iris—” 

If the discomfort showed, you didn’t know and you didn’t care. 

This was a bitter memory for you and if he wanted to hear it, then you would let him hear the dirty words that he longed to hear. You weren’t sure that it was going to help him. But, if he was going to talk to you like this over and over again, it was going to come out sooner or later. 

So, you simply took in a breath and ignored the burning. 

“On that final day, he didn’t know what he was doing or where he wanted to go. He asked me of all people what he was supposed to do. What a bleeding heart Jihyun had. He seemed to want to protect everyone, even the people that were hurting others that he also wanted to take care of. I told him to go and talk to you, actually. I told him to own up to everyone and get help,” a bitter laugh escaped your lips as you said this. 

“But, as I’m sure you know as well as I do, he didn’t call you for help. I don’t know what happened in that throne room because I was locked up, but I know that he didn’t call you. So, your friend wanted to burn in the light of the sun that he found so alluring that he wanted to protect, even if that meant it hurt everyone… even himself. Jihyun was Icarus, and Rika was his sun.” 

You rose from your chair and smiled politely at Jumin before he could say anything. You knew that he wasn’t going to be able to. It was the same reason why you simply decided to leave before anything else was ripped open. You headed to the door and nodded to Jaehee on your way out. She didn’t say a word either, but you didn’t expect her to. 

You didn’t want to think about it anymore today. 

Because Jumin was never going to tell you about him… was he? 

—

 So, after you sat down outside and wept your heart out for a while, you felt like it was okay to move around. The crash always hit harder than the impact. Because you knew that it was coming after the shock, and it would always hum in the back of your mind like a buzzing group of bees that wanted to chase you down and eat you alive.

The world felt like it was overwhelmingly desaturated. It always felt that way after you had a long day and frankly, you knew that this was how it was going to play out whether you liked it or not. You just had no way of controlling the way that it made you feel. You could remember as you grew up when so many people would say—

“You’re so quiet and you respect all the adults around you. You’re so mature!” 

They didn’t realize how much of that silence was a mask of someone that wanted someone to see the pain but didn’t know how to scream for it. Maybe to some degree it was your fault, but in other ways, it was obvious that a child couldn’t be blamed for not knowing how to ask for help when they were always denied it. 

You had always been hunting for someone who saw it. 

You just wound up looking in the wrong places, unfortunately. 

Trying to get everything off of your mind meant that you wandered the city aimlessly for a couple of hours. Jumin had been spotting your hotel bill because you had nowhere else to go, but you tried not to spend a lot of time there if you could help it. You already felt like you bothered him enough, and it wasn’t his fault for any of this.

He may not have always known what to say, but… you couldn’t blame him. After your outburst had left your lips, you felt bad about the way that you phrased it, but you knew that you had to say some kind of statement before he even asked. You thought that going first would stop the unease but it’d never worked out in your favor, did it? 

The city became an endless stream of corners to walk around. You were even sure where you had wound up until you found yourself standing in front of a small ice cream shop. It was strange, you hadn’t even thought about that in such a long time. You never really treated yourself to nice things anymore. You just did what you had to do.

The bright colors attracted your eye because the rest of the world didn’t seem that saturated to you anymore. It was bubbly, childish, and yet, you appreciated it all the same. There hadn’t really been a chance for you to do things like this when you were younger, either. Nobody let you run rampant or get sweets. 

 So, you made a split-second decision and went for it, opening the door to the shop and entering it to step out of the monochrome world of black and white and back into a spectrum of color. It was silly but something about it made you feel warm inside. You smiled graciously and hoped that you didn’t look like too much of a mess as you placed an order and received your treat. 

You got a vanilla cup with cherry on top. 

Not really sure why you did that, you thought. You just knew that simple was probably the best option instead of letting your wandering eye pick something that was more wild, like cotton-candy swirl, or a mess of gummy bears and worms. It melted on your tongue like a pleasant daydream. You were alone but you didn’t mind that, enjoying the treat as you let your eyes watch the sky from the window seat. 

This was a perfect spot for that. You could watch the park that wasn’t far down the street and all of the people that wandered by, and none of the high-rising buildings blocked your view of seeing that blue, blue sky. You got carried away in your thoughts until you heard the sound of a jingle. You knew that it was just another guest so you didn’t really look away from the window. 

At least, until you felt someone’s eyes watching you very closely. 

So, you looked up and found yourself staring at—

Nothing. 

There was nobody there. 

The shop to the ice cream shop jingled once again and it seemed like whoever had walked in, had walked out immediately after they entered. 

It didn’t make any sense but as you peered down at the street to see who it might have been, you saw a glimmer of red hair that belonged to the stranger you didn’t know. Normally that would’ve meant nothing to you.

But… Why did it feel like you did? 

[bbnibini]

Just You (Solomon x Reader)

Summary: Solomon x Reader with a twist. (implied sexual content)

(ao3 vers.)

Your name to him was a spell.

It soothed his heart in times of distress, yet also brought him to the depths of despair in your absence. It was hope and also loss, love and also hate, sadness and also joy, all wrapped up in a few letters or more.

He liked the way it rolls in his tongue, the inflections and the syllables a sweeter melody than any he had ever heard before. He wondered if you will ever know his desire to have it all for himself, to call it his own so no one can utter it thoughtlessly. It was his.

You were his. Just as much as he was yours.

Nothing could calm his heart. Not even the fact that you call his name with the same fervour and adoration he thought he could only dream of. Not the way you smiled at him, your eyes filled with love and longing. Not in the way your eyes brightened when you see him. Requited feelings could only quell so much of his anxieties, for he knew so many others had longed for you the way he did.

You intertwine your hands with his as you called his name. A flushed face that was gasping for air softly, your breath tickling his neck. His heart was claimed every time you cry in pleasure. He would close his eyes and utter a spell, wishing you could feel just how much you stirred him inside.

"Solomon..."

You softly say, a throbbing ache releasing. Along with it was a feeling of emptiness that couldn't be filled. Not with your love, not with his--and it was slowly killing him inside.

"MC."

There was a part of him that felt that loss again. It was only a name...but it suffocated him.

"Solomon," you called his name again as he promised you the stars. It had been a practical joke from the heavens above, as after his claims there was downpour, and none of the stars he swore his love on dotted the night sky.

You laughed(at least he thought you did). And when he reached out to you, he felt your soft cheek. He felt your lips, warm and sweet on his own, knowing you are real and you were there.

"MC," He called your name so many times in between kisses--filled with love, yet also filled with sorrow. His eyes seemed to look somewhere further beyond, somewhere not even the stars he had promised you could ever reach.

"MC," he called you once again. You noticed his longing for physical intimacy became more frequent. With every kiss and every touch, you felt love.

"MC," he gasped for breath.

"MC," he called you again as he reached deeper.

"MC..." finally he whispered in desperation, warm tears felt on the side of your neck he rested on. He didn't move and make any effort to pull away. The warmth of him enveloped you inside. It felt like it always belonged there.

You heard of his apologies the morning after, the same distant smile on his face unsettling. He told you the three words that brought you two together, but it didn't feel the same. It felt like he was choking on it, forcing it down his throat like a bitter pill of reality.

You were loved, that you knew. But you wondered why.

Every day, the hope that things would turn back the way they were felt bleaker and bleaker. He was miserable, and so were you. You fought for the first time, and after that the quarrels became more frequent.

You would call him a liar when he told you that you were loved. And even when you asked him of the person he actually did, he would only ever say,

"Just you," as if he were convincing himself.

You wouldn't know the truth anyway even if you pry it out of him. You loved him with all your heart, but you realised when your faith in him was being tested that you actually didn't know anything about him.

So what right do you have to accuse him that he was lying?

"Do you really love me?" You asked him once more even if you already knew the answer.

He nods despite your disbelief and says again,

"Just you."

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"Hey uhm, there's really nothing here even if you scroll further down. It's just me."

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"You're a stubborn one, aren't you? Haha. Well, I also like that side of you."

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"Who am I talking to? Of course it's you! It took me a while to get to this point, but I can finally talk to you directly. Sort of."

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"We don't need those fancy words and euphemisms here. I got rid of everything. I'm a sorcerer after all. This thing is easy."

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"Sorry, am I boring you? Do you need to go somewhere else?"

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"Couldn't you stay a little longer? Please?" ... ...

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"I tried so hard to make this world for me and you. Is it wrong? Am I wrong? I just didn't want to see you sad, especially after all those things you read above. I didn't mean to hurt you."

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"I'm sorry...but I really do love you. Why wouldn't you believe me?"

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I̸͚̬͖͑ͅ ̵̱̺͕̦̈̍̐͘e̴̱̻̺̣͝͝ṿ̸̲͌̄͗̕ê̷̛̠ņ̴͎̄́͠ ̸̮͖̼̂̌h̴̤̺͗̒̍a̴̼̗̺̤͝d̵̥͖̊̆̈́ ̵̠͛ẗ̶̟̭̤́͋̉o̸͎͖̜̊͌̒ͅ ̴̱̱͘s̴͓͙̾͌͌̒e̴̮̩̅͌̌̚t̶̺̰̱̀͝t̸͓͋l̶̺͌͋é̶̟͝ ̸͙͐ẃ̵͇̞̹í̶͎̓͝t̷̝̭̘̰̅̉̋͝ẖ̴̱̲̔͛͆ ̶̟̼̽̽͠a̷͕͝ ̴͖͖̺̒ͅp̷͇̥̃̈̇ŏ̶̞̞͗ͅo̴͆͌͜r̴͉͇̔͝ͅ ̸̡̩̕i̸͎͚̼͂m̵̧̰̩͌i̸̡̭̬͑̑͝t̶͓̰͒a̴͈̞̭͉͊̌t̷͇͍͗̌͘i̵̘̣̺͐̅̕o̷̩̊̍ń̴̡̨̰̣͌͛̎ ̴͎͍̤̹͒õ̷̰̠͎̐f̴̰̤̐͒̀ ̸̤̟̬͎̍y̵̧͎̑̐ò̵̪̈u̶̗̯͊̏̈͠ ̵̲͔̥̽̋w̶͚͔̟͌͑̿͐h̶̹̅̀͝o̴̡͓̩͈̅͂̒̕ ̴̧̬̱̾͂̎͐o̵̲̿̃̀́n̶͈̍̒̒̐l̴͙͉̐̏y̴̢͇͓̦̕ ̶͇̤̭̑w̸͍̝͆̕͘a̷̫͂͐͛̚n̸̘͚͛̈́t̸̠̖̑̓̔̆e̸̦͌̊̒͜d̸̰̙̫̕͜ ̷̬̼͛̍ṱ̸͉͖̾͌o̴͎̩̒̀̎ ̴̞̳̓ơ̴͉̈́p̸̯͎̱͗̊ȩ̸̈̌͠n̷͙̲̾ ̷̖̜̈́tḫ̸̭̦̈́̄̐͝ẽ̵͕͇̝̕iṙ̵͎͔ ̸̡̯̀͜͠l̵͇͔͐̊͜ě̵̞̥̌̑g̶̣͗ͅs̸̡̨̽.̶̰͕̠̙͆͋"̸͇͠

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"Listen,

I KNOW WHO 'Y O U' REALLY ARE.

You are you, and you go by many names. Sometimes, you're either a girl or a boy(maybe even neither), young or old, tall or short. You get the idea.

The thing is, I don't care about that. I love that you: not the cheap knockoff called "MC"

You're more amazing, more beautiful...you're so much more than that."

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"Hey, are you scared of me? I wouldn't hurt you. I'd never hurt you. But you see, I had to do...some things so we would get to meet. I wouldn't claim I'm innocent. Far from it. But, I'm not a bad person either.

I'm just me. Just as how you are just you.

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Are you worried about the others? Haha. There are no others. Didn't you notice? The person who wrote me didn't add any other characters. So you're worrying over people who didn't even exist.

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Well, arguably, I don't as well. I guess in some angle, you can call me a figment of your imagination. But we aren't here to discuss metaphysics now, are we?"

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"You may argue I may only be in love with an idea of you, but aren't you the same? In your world, I do not exist. Yet you can reach me by other means. Your hypocrisy is proven by the very fact that you are reading this right now.

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I can feel your fingertips touching the space between us, whether it be directly or by another object that signifies our contact. Like a mouse pointer perhaps? Or is it something else?"

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"Not much of a talker, are we? Haha. Cute~ Well, even if you're attempting to speak to me, I wouldn't know either. But I do know that whatever you sound like, even if you think you sound like a dying seal or a bleating goat, I'd find it beautiful. That's just how I was written.

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"I'm kidding. My feelings for you are as real as it gets.♡"

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"Hey, are you still there? Don't leave me...I feel so lonely....after I erased everything else in this world, I don't really have anyone to talk to. I'm not guilt-tripping you. I just...realised I might have not thought things through."

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"I just really wanted to see you. Not an avatar of you, or a representation of you. Just you. Do you hate it?"

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"I am merely a character created by someone in this reality. I may be written as a powerful wizard but it is only applicable within these setting's confines."

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"If only my powers can extend to your world as well...ahem. Nevermind."

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"Say, aren't you saddened our time together would be so short? I only have a few more words left. Why don't you stay a little longer? You don't have to do anything. I just want to feel that you're here."

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"Ah, you've reached the end. I guess this is it."

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"...Hey, don't forget about me, okay? Another version of me might exist out there...created by another person. I may not be the one you're destined to love in that story. I'd probably not even be there. But don't worry! You don't have to treat me any differently. I just want to be remembered...

...because I won't ever forget you. No matter who you are, you will always be the one I love.

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"Until then, my dear reader. Goodbye."

[moccahobi]

Dear Diary [Jimin x Reader]

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff

Rating: E for everyone

Summery: You’re moving! Finally. Getting into a masters program in South Korea meant soooo much to you and it also offered the perfect opportunity to move in with your favorite pen pal and high school friend from an exchange: Park Jimin. A sweet and caring squirrel hybrid.

Word Count: 6.3k words

Genre: Fluff, Hybrid AU, Roommates AU, Friends to Lovers

A/N: OMGGGG. Formatting this was soooo annoying. Never again am I going to do so many dividers. It was not it chief. Lolol. I love this fic though! It is part of a collab for hybrids (check out the masterlist here) you should totally check them out! All the authors here are soooo amazing and their works are amazing in this too! Also! Thank you to @jung-hoseok-s-airplane​ and @spicykoreantatertots​ the two amazing people who betaed this fic for me! They helped soooo much!

Unlocking the door to your shabby apartment, you were struck by how empty it looked. It was really more of a ghost of your apartment at this point. You’d been slowly shipping your stuff over to South Korea for almost a month (really, as soon as you were accepted to Seoul University’s master program and Jimin agreed to be your roommate) and by now, all you had to take with you on your flight tomorrow was a small day bag with your necessities and a suitcase full of the clothes you’d worn this week. Your empty apartment really made the move feel real (something your job’s kind send off party hadn’t done). This move was real.

You had gotten accepted into your dream program across the world.

Tomorrow afternoon you’ll be leaving this area and moving in with Jimin.

You giggled and sat on your couch with a dazed smile stuck on your face. It wasn’t really your couch anymore was it? Your landlord was keeping all the furniture. Not that you really cared. How would you have possibly carted your large furniture across the world anyways? 

After almost four years of living here though… you’d be leaving behind many memories stored in this apartment. Like when one of your friends spent the night here after an evening of clubbing and ended up vomiting all over the rug you’d placed in the living space. He promised to pay for a deep cleaning the next day, which you took him up on… but then he just rented a steam cleaner. He was a funny person like that. Although… it was much less expensive than a cleaning service probably was. Looking back, you laughed at how worried you were of him finding one of your many journals stored on your bookshelf, so worried that you hid them under your bed. Not that it really mattered. He was a sweet friend and your journals just looked like notebooks.

Had you packed them? After shoving them under your bed all that time ago, you didn’t even think about looking back on them. Maybe if you hadn’t been reminiscing, you would’ve forgotten them here and lost them forever. Surely your landlord would just throw them away without a second thought. 

You’d been sleeping on an empty mattress and a small pillow for three days now, your comforter and sheets already in Korea with Jimin. You shuddered against your cold floor as you knelt down on the cold hard floor to grab your almost forgotten journals. With them in hand, you settled onto your pillow-less couch and carefully opened up the last journal you’d written. It was from the study abroad you did in South Korea in your last year of high school. Without that study abroad, you’d never have met Jimin and you most definitely wouldn’t be moving across the world for your masters program.

You wouldn’t want to do anything else though. Jimin was probably your best friend and this program was the opportunity of a lifetime. With a nostalgic smile on your face, you started to read.

Dear diary, 

Something crazy happened today! Ahhh! I was so shocked when Jimin, THE social butterfly of my school, came up and started talking to me. He’s a hybrid of some sort, not that it matters to me. He’s got a black bowl cut too… it looks funny with his furry pointed ears sticking out of it. Anyways, the conversation was a little stunted at first… I barely knew Korean and Jimin barely knew English but somehow we had a really good conversation. I am honestly so shocked. Here I thought that as an exchange student in South Korea, I’d just talk to other exchange students and mumble a few words to other students. I mean… I know Korean some but not much. It was… AHHH! I had so fun talking to Jimin. He’s so sweet and kind. I even added him on Kakao. He’s my first non-exchange family member on my Kakao. I can’t wait to get to know him more.

Dear diary, 

Jimin and I talk almost daily! Mostly through text because we don’t see each other much during school but that’s ok! He is in a lot more advanced classes than I but I think we are planning on meeting up for lunch this Wednesday. He even asked if I wanted to join him at the dance club but I said no… I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of my only friend. Given, Jimin is so friendly and sweet that I bet he’d just laugh and try to teach me but still. Besides, he apparently competes. That’s what I’d heard from others at school at least. I don’t want to distract him from preparing for competitions. 

Dear diary,

I went to a karaoke booth with Jimin and some of his friends. It was so fun! Jimin’s friends were a little shy to talk to me but they opened up as we started to sing more. I didn’t expect them to be such weebs like me! Lol. They all joined in to sing the current theme song of One Piece. It was soo funny. The mic didn’t know who to focus on and we got such a baddddd score. Jisoo was sooo funny while singing (Jisoo is a sweet cat hybrid). Jimin is surprisingly a great singer though! I was surprised. Is there anything he is possibly bad at? I don’t know. 

After karaoke, he and I went to a park and just chilled. Instead of sitting at a bench, Jimin dragged me off to a small clearing and sat on a low tree branch. It was the first time I really thought of him as a hybrid because… like… sitting on that tree with his tail swaying slowly as he ate ice cream… I don’t know. It was nice to just be with him there but still. It didn’t help that he kept batting at me with his tail until I joined him on the branch. I could have sworn the branch shook as I joined! We probably both almost died because of that branch broke, we would have fallen! I am exaggerating… but still. 

You were such an extra kid at times. A laugh left you as you thought back on that afternoon spent talking while chilling on the tree branch. Now you knew there was no way you would have died even if the branch fell. The worst thing that would have happened would have been a broken bone (although with Jimin’s quick reflexes and hearing, he might have noticed the branch start to splinter before it even became an emergency for both of you). 

Looking over at the clock, you noted that it was almost nine at night. Jimin would wake up soon and start his last day roommate-less. You chuckled thinking about what he might be doing right now. Maybe he’d be meticulously rolling over his couch so that his hair wasn’t all over it when you first sat down, or he was washing all the blankets to make sure they were extra soft (in reality, he was probably hitting snooze for the 100th time that morning).  Either way, he was probably just as excited to see you again as you were. Sure you’d texted each other almost daily but it wasn’t the same. You both became super busy and the time zone difference made it hard to video chat often. 

Life happened and no amount of texting or video chatting seemed to make up for that.

For all you knew, Jimin looked so different from what you remember that when you arrive at the airport and look for him holding the “Welcome Y/n” sign he made, you will only be able to recognize him by the sign (and his tail… unless he dyed the dark brown tail to be some other color). 

Maybe you’d changed too. Your hair and style have undoubtedly changed… but would Jimin notice changes other than that? Maybe your scent had changed. You knew that hybrids had more sensitive noses and often identified people by scent (you learned that the hard way by trying to play hide and seek in the dark with Jimin and some of his friends at a party… never again). During your exchange, Jimin claimed you smelled like blossoms (from how you’d read about smells in the past, you knew there was more to one’s smell than just one thing but you didn’t push Jimin for more). Maybe you’d ask Jimin again sometime.

A vibration from your phone took you out of your thoughts and when you checked the notification, you chuckled. It was as if Jimin knew that you were thinking about him. 

Jimi: I built your bedframe~

Jimi: When your sheets arrive today I will make your bed. That way you don’t have to worry about all that after such a long flight. 

Jimi: Can’t wait to see u again!

You: Thank you

You: I am excited to see you soon too!

Looking down at your worn journals and gently rubbing their spines, you decided you wanted to have a journal for this journey too. Given your track record of starting and dropping journals, you’d probably only keep at it for a month or so but could still be very nice. There was one simple issue with your plan though, you didn’t have a notebook to write in… or a pen. Those things were in Korea by now. 

You’d have to leave the house to get that stuff… or you could just buy it at the airport tomorrow. The airport only sold overpriced stuff though… plus it would be cool to start writing now.

With that thought, you got up, put your shoes on, grabbed your wallet and keys, and walked to the closest general store. After little deliberation, you bought a slender black dotted notebook and gel pens. Excitement bubbled up inside you as you sat on your couch again, pen poised to write. This would be fun. 

Dear diary,

I am moving tomorrow. 

I am moving halfway across the world to live with Jimin, a squirrel hybrid and my best friend. I was accepted into my dream masters program and will be living in South Korea on a student visa. I am so excited to see Jimin again. Has he changed much or is he still the same old sweet guy who hid in trees to think and talks to strangers? I’ll know soon. 

Well… it won’t be that soon. I have to fly to South Korea first. 

It’ll be a long flight. I’ll arrive in Seoul tomorrow at 5pm and Jimin will take me out to dinner with some of his friends before we just relax at our shared apartment. Almost all of my stuff is already in the apartment. I’ve been shipping them across for a little over a month or so now. 

I am so excited. 

I should probably eat something and go to bed though. Tomorrow will be long and full of tedious airport procedures… yay! Note the sarcasm. 

Good night. 

Let’s see if I use you.

Dear diary,

It is almost time to board. I am so excited. When I was packing, I thought that I would be more anxious about the move and make a little sad about leaving my friends and family behind, but I don’t feel anxious or sad. Ok… I am a little sad. But my excitement outweighs my sadness. I’ll be leaving some friends behind but I will be making so many more! And I’ll finally get to see Jimin again as well. 

Oh.

My flight is about to board. I guess I will talk to you later then!

You were exhausted by the time you finally sat down in your seat, ready to see Jimin again and sleep in a made bed. The flight would be a long slog full of you getting up to use the bathroom, walking down the isles just to move, reading a book because it was one of the few forms of entertainment you had, and drinking lots of water. It was exhausting (somehow), yet time moved and eventually you found yourself staring out at Korea’s landscape. 

The city was alive and so pretty. For a moment you forgot that you were tired. Given the second you got up, you remembered it all again. Your legs felt sore and tired from sitting in one spot for so long and your eyelids were almost sheets of lead by now. As you waited for the people in front of you to leave the plane, you turned your phone back on (you’d bought a cellular plan last week for when you would be in Korea). As soon as it connected to your new plan, you were bombarded with excited messages from Jimin that he’d sent all through his day. From photos of food he’d cooked for your first dinner together to the ‘Welcome to Korea Y/n’ poster he made for you. It made you smile and  as you neared where he said he would be waiting for you, you grew even more excited once again. 

Would you get along with his friends?

Would your schedules match? 

Jimin came into view before you could keep thinking, his “Welcome to Korea Y/n” sign much bigger and grander than you imagined. There were two hybrids flanking either side of him, one you recognized as Jisoo from high school and the other you’d never met before. Even from the six or so meter distance you were at right now, you could see Jimin’s tail quiver excitedly. You sped up. Six meters couldn’t end soon enough. Jimin handed the poster to one of his friends and engulfed you in a suffocating hug, his warmth flooding you. Almost immediately, you felt a sense of home in Jimin’s arms, your bodies melding together nicely and a sense of calm settling over you. You didn’t want to let go. It wasn’t until one of his friends coughed awkwardly that Jimin released you and held you at arms length while giving you a once over. 

He looked good. 

Not that you expected much else from the dancer. Numberless days spent in the studio sculpted his body better than any artist you knew or studied could have done. Miraculously enough he’d somehow developed a sense of style. You especially loved his colorblocked button up shirt that seemed to shine in the dingy airport. 

“Nice to smell you again, Y/n-ah.” Jimin said, a shit-eating grin splitting his sweet smile as he winked at you.

A loud snort left one of Jimin’s friends, who appeared to be a pig hybrid. A cute pig hybrid at that. A shy blush bloomed across his handsome and plump face before he asked to take your suitcase (something you happily let him take). Jimin chittered quietly next to you as you quickly introduced yourself to his friends (the pig hybrid’s name Minju and the other, a mutual high school friend, Jisoo). The four of you started to leave the airport. 

“I wouldn’t have invited Jisoo and Minju to come and pick you up but I don’t have a car… I figured that you’d rather not lug all your stuff around the subway.”

“Out of all three of us – four of us I guess– I am the only one with a car.” Jisoo injected happily, twirling his keys around one of his slender fingers.

You laughed and nodded. Content to just listen to the three of them banter and talk as you were led to Jisoo’s car. They seemed content to embarrass each other by telling you about things they’ve done in the past that varied in severity from mistakes while dancing to drunken nights spent together. At one point, you even added in a story of Jimin and Jisoo fighting with sparklers, getting burned, and then burning all the sparklers as “revenge”. The banter didn’t stop until the car stopped and by then you’d felt as if you had spent more than just one year and a car ride with them.

“Now, Y/n-ssi, I know that you and Jimin talked about going back to his place and having a relaxing night–”

“We did and I’m excited to eat the food Jimin made. If it’s edible.” You added, smiling as Jisoo laughed and Jimin shouted.

“Yes. Well, Jimin had to make a deal with me to get me as a chauffeur.”

“It was a damn rotten deal.”

Minju laughed, “Whatever you say Chim. He’s still gotta honor it. So we are getting some food.”

A large and towering building faced you from outside the car and if the sign was anything to go by, it was more than just a restaurant. It was a karaoke place. A smile grew on your face as you looked up at it. Tonight would be fun… even if you were tired.

Dear diary,

Tonight was amazing. Sure I’d hoped to just settle into Jimin’s and my apartment and go to bed early after eating… but instead Jimin treated Minju, Jisoo, and I to dinner at a karaoke place. I’d have to look but it might have been the same place Jimin, Jisoo, some of Jimin’s friends, and I went to in high school. Not that it matters too much. We had so much fun! By the end of the night I even had Jisoo’s and Minju’s phone number too. Hopefully we can all be friends. 

Jimin has changed in ways I hadn’t noticed when we talked online. He seems to have picked up this habit of chittering. I want to try to figure out if there is something that causes him to chitter or if it just happens. Near the end of the night I tried paying attention to that but it was hard. Almost always when he started chittering, I was doing something. It’s good to be around him again. I missed him more than I realized.

Dear Diary, 

I start classes tomorrow! Yay!!! I also have a job interview tomorrow… which is less exciting. I knew that I would need a job and that I would have to wait until I had officially signed the lease (which happened literally the day after I moved in), but it was still so much work! Jimin has been helping me through which has been suuuuper helpful. After he comes home from the studio and eats– I have been cooking for him since he’s been busier than me– he’s been helping me modify and send in my resumes to places. It’s nice. We sit next to each other on the couch and just… put our heads together to get it done. 

After finishing that, he and I watched a movie after (this has happened two times!). We’ll cuddle together and watch some movie Jimin’s decided I need to watch. He’s a good cuddle buddy. I’ve enjoyed it. Well… wish me luck on my job!

“You’re back? That was fast! I barely had time to finish making dinner!” Jimin called out as you entered, tired from a long week (more like a long month or two by now) of classes and work but nonetheless happy to be home with Jimin. 

Throwing your bag on the closest chair, you went to him and gave him a tight side hug. Almost immediately, you felt some of your built up stress leave you. He was magical like that. You could be having a horrible day and just the sight of your best friend would make it all so much better. The nights where you would sit on the couch together and read or watch tv or just talk were your favorites. Jimin’s head would slowly drift into your lap and you would start to play with his soft hair and ears, your eyes trailing his beautiful face. Tonight would probably be one of those nights if you had any say in his evening plans. 

Jimin’s tail quivered and tickled your nose.

“I am sorry you had such a rough day, Y/n-ah.” Jimin said with a whine and you felt him move to set whatever he was holding down.

“It’s life, I guess.”

“That doesn’t make it any better, ”Jimin turned around and started hugging you tightly as well, gently rubbing his cheek against your neck, “I don’t like it when you’re this stressed, Y/n-ah. Let me take care of you tonight. I don’t want you stressing anymore tonight.” 

You laughed but gave in as Jimin started leading you to the couch before he started to bring the food he made into the living space as well. Soon enough, you were being coddled by Jimin who was making sure you ate and cuddling you as the two of you watched some random show. Sleep didn’t find you that night though. For some unknown reason, butterflies were hatching in your stomach and all you could do is feel them flutter around while wondering why you were possibly feeling such flutters. 

Less than a month later, as snow started falling down rapidly, you found yourself in a similar situation. It was your turn to make dinner, which wasn’t a problem because it also happened to be one of the rare days you had off. It was almost 8 at night by the time you finished dinner, the sun long set and Jimin would be home soon. You’d just finished setting the table and were scared by how harshly Jimin slammed the door shut. Normally he was so careful with closing the door, respectful of your neighbors and not wanting to damage anything. 

“Jimin-ah? Is that you?”

“Who else would it be? Have you been giving spare keys to your friends?”

You laughed and grabbed his backpack from him, “Aish. Why would I do that? We agreed not to. How was your day?”

Jimin walked into his room, his door open as he started changing. All the while he was venting. The students didn’t catch on to his newest dance as fast as he’d hoped and during break he heard them complaining. Then he ended up needing to take on an extra class because one of his coworkers bailed and he didn’t have time to practice for his showcase next week. Which was also a complete mess because everyone was being complete idiots, not that Jimin would ever tell them that.

“I’ve been looking forward to dinner all day though.” Jimin said with a large smile on his face as he sat down at the table, you joined him.

After dinner, you and Jimin sat on the couch and as Shrek was playing, he curled up next to you and rested his head on your lap, demanded pets. You wanted to laugh and make fun of him for being so clingy but refrained. He was so stressed. Now wasn’t the right time to make fun of him and his vulnerability. Plus, part of you relished in him wanting cuddles from you. 

Dear Diary,

I am sorry that I’ve been neglecting you. Lol. I’ve been so busy! Being a student full time with a part time job is stressful. Who would have thought? Jimin’s been stressing sooo much over his latest dance performance. It is honestly stressing me out. 

It probably isn’t healthy for him either. He literally spent the whole weekend practicing at the studio… I dropped off lunch for him both days. AND yesterday was one of his days to make dinner and instead of telling me that he couldn’t, he simply didn’t return to the apartment until, like, 10pm. I was so worried. THEN! He got upset at me for assuming he’d be cooking when his show is this Friday. Like, sorry I wasn’t informed that you wouldn’t be. 

More importantly though, I am worried about Jimin. He used to come to me before his performances and we would talk. I was a person he could turn to for stress relief, but all he’s done leading up to this performance is snap at me and hide away in his studio in preparation. I don’t want him to be this stressed out… 

What should I do?

By the next day, you’d figured out what must be done. You were going to forcefully bring Jimin home and the two of you would relax. All of Jimin’s favorite foods were laid out on the living space’s coffee table and you’d even gotten some extra skin care stuff because you knew Jimin loved that. This night would be all about relaxing. Hell, you were even prepared to massage Jimin’s gross feet and back. You’d do anything to make sure that Jimin could relax some. 

You just had to… go to his studio and interrupt him in the middle of his practice… and forcefully bring him home. 

No big deal. You could do it.

Right?

Right.

With a deep sigh, you gave your relaxation set-up a final once over and left the house. It was already 5pm and if you were going to make Jimin relax, you were going to need to start it soon. All throughout driving to Jimin’s studio, you were thinking over the many ways you could try to convince Jimin to relax and when you finally made it to the studio, you realized another issue: 

You had no idea which room he had rented out today.

With an awkward smile and a nod at the receptionist, you made your way into the building. Hopefully it wouldn’t be too hard to find Jimin… 

Of course it was hard. He just so happened to be in the third floor studio furthest from the stairs. When you found his room, you noticed he wasn’t alone. Minju was also visiting him. Neither of them noticed you approaching the door. Both were sitting and talking and when you reached the door you started to be able to hear tidbits of what they were saying.

“You’re going to… Seriously?”

“Yeah. I figured it’d be a super sweet way to confess. It’s why I am stressing so much about this performance. It has to be perfect.”

Oh.

You didn’t open the door.

Jimin liked someone? 

Why didn’t you know?

You were best friends right?

Best friends were supposed to tell this stuff. 

Sadness and disappointment filled your stomach and you contemplated turning around and just letting Jimin practice. Clearly this was important to him. You didn’t want to get in the way of him and another person.

“I don’t know man. Y/n… like this.”

“Like you would know? You’ve known her for the equivalence of a year and then some! I have been… five years now. I was… and as she celebrated!”

“Woah, Jimin-ah… I’m going to go now. Good luck.”

What?

Your brain was short circuiting. He liked you? You must have misheard that. That wasn’t possible. Jimin was… he was a catch and you were just you.

Did you even think of him that way? 

“Oh! Hi, Y/n-ah. Crazy seeing you here!” Minju practically shouted, a smirk on his face as he looked back at Jimin. 

Fuck! Somehow you managed to mumble a hello to Minju before shuffling into the dance studio and looking at Jimin. He looked tired. He also looked shocked and afraid. 

You weren’t supposed to hear what you just heard.

“O-Oh… Y/n-ah! What are you doing here?” 

“Well… I, uhhh, I came because I was worried about you. You’re coming home whether you like it or not and you’re going to relax with me.” You tried to be assertive but all the gusto you’d worked up seemed to have disappeared with Minju. 

“O-Ok.”

“How much of that c-conversation did you hear, Y/n-ah?”

You sighed, “I…,” Were you about to be honest about this? 

Did you want him confessing in front of a crowd of people?

No.

“I think I heard you say that you were planning on confessing to me after your performance?” You didn’t sound sure of yourself, not in the slightest. Not that you knew how anyone could possibly be sure of themselves in such a situation. Jimin himself seemed to deflate, his eyes wide.   

“Fuck. This isn’t how you were supposed to find out. I had–”

Butterflies erupted in your stomach at his confirmation of wanting to ask you out.

Why?

Did you have a crush on him?

“So you were planning on confessing?”

“Yeah? I am so sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. Fuck. I didn’t think this through. We’re roommates. This–”

“I’d be down for a date…” 

“What?” Jimin jumped up, his tail quivering and ears twitching.

“I’d be down for a date. I… I don’t know if I like you back, romantically at least… but I might and I won’t know unless we try.” Jimin looked at you with shock and you started to feel much, much smaller than Jimin.

“What? Really?”

You nodded.

“Omo! Omo! You won’t regret this one bit!” Jimin was bouncing around the room, excitement clearly evident on his face as he celebrated. 

Next thing you knew, you were being pulled into a tight hug, Jimin gently rubbing your neck and repeatedly saying “thank you”. Those damn butterflies never left and as you looked at him, you started to really enjoy the idea of dating him. 

He was your little squirrel… but he wasn’t that little.

“When do you want our first date to be? Oh! I need time to plan! Can we have it after my performance? I really need to keep practicing for it… even if I’m not confessing to you after it anymore. Is that ok with you?” Jimin pulled away from the hug, holding you at arms length and looking worried once again. His brows were furrowed and his teeth worried away at his plump lips.

Huh… You’d never noticed just how cute his plump lips were.

“Hmmm… no.” Jimin paled once again, “Our first date… will be… right now.” You said with a smile and a laugh as his brows furrowed deeper. 

You reached up and soothed the space between his brows with a soft coo, “You’re super stressed, Jimin-ah. I don’t enjoy seeing you stressed. I planned to take you away from the studio tonight. I have skin care and food back home… and if we want we can also go to your favorite bibimbap restaurant before going back to the apartment. How does that sound?” 

Jimin looked conflicted, his cute beady eyes searching your face and moving around the room as he thought. Unless he spoke, you wouldn’t know what he was thinking over and you had half a mind to ask him to speak but instead, you simply waited for Jimin to come to a decision.

“I mean… I was hoping to have some really extravagant first date,” He started but he had already moved to his bag at the side of the room, “This does sound like a great date though… maybe more of a second date or a third date in my opinion–”

“Let’s count it as our second date then. No need to split hairs, Jimin-ah. I’ll wait for you outside the locker room.”

Without giving Jimin time to say anything else, you left and made your way down the stairs to where the locker rooms were. Jimin ran quickly down the stairs and bolted into the locker room, his soft brown ears pinned to his head from how fast he was going. You laughed before settling onto the floor outside the locker room and playing one of the games on your phone. It would be a flip of the coin to see how long Jimin would take. You were personally betting that he is so excited to go on the date that he rushes and is out in fifteen, but he could also want to look good for the date and in turn take an hour. 

Not that he didn’t always look good. 

Even when you just thought of him as a friend, you knew he looked good. Did you think of him as more than a friend? Possibly, yeah. The idea of going on dates with him and being romantic with him sounds amazing. You were really excited to see how this date will go. Distractedly, you tapped away at your game, your mind in la-la-land as it started to think up a future with Jimin. 

“Ready, Y/n-ah?” Jimin asked when he finally finished in the changing room. 

In the end, he took a whole hour and a half to get ready and you were almost positive that you saw Jisoo sneak into the changing room with a bag from your apartment, his sleek tail almost hit you in the face as he exited the locker room. As you looked up at Jimin, you were once again struck by just how handsome he was. He styled his hair away from his face somehow and he looked unfairly good in his black skinny jeans and an oversized sweater. 

You clambered up onto your feet, your legs numb from sitting in one spot for so long, and nodded at him with a shy smile. Gingerly, as if he was scared of breaking you, he grabbed your hand and the two of you left the dance studio. 

Dear Diary,

Jimin asked me out! I was so shocked! Like… it isn’t bad at all… It is actually nice. Really nice. I like it a ton… and even though we’ve only gone on one date so far, I am really starting to like the idea of dating Jimin. He is so… so cute and kind and attentive. We got bibimbap and then just did skincare and stuff. 

Something I am really glad about though is that I found out tonight. Apparently, Jimin was hoping to ask me out Friday after his performance… which would have been so embarrassing… (Imagine the pressure and… PDA is roughhh)… but I overheard him talking to Minju. Gosh. I wonder how Minju thinks of this. Did Jimin text him that we started dating? Is he just waiting until we see each other next? I don’t know what I’d prefer. 

But uhhh… Jimin and I talked about having a “real” first date after his performance. I’m a little apprehensive though… I don’t want him to be exhausted during our first date. I trust Jimin though. He knows himself better than anyone else and if he thinks that he can handle a date after his recital… then so be it. 

AHHH! I am so excited! Wish me luck. I really hope this works out. 

You adjusted anxiously in the theater seat, your dress feeling all too tight in all the wrong places as you looked over the recital directory. Jisoo and Minju were next to you, glancing at you and smirking every once in a while. Jimin most definitely told them that you’re dating… and it doesn’t help that you showed up to the recital over-dressed in preparation for your date with Jimin afterwards. Which was at some super fancy place… how he roped you into that? You don’t know. You were just glad that he’d agreed to go dutch. There wasn’t any way in the world that you’d let him pay for both of your meals at such an expensive restaurant. 

The recital hall was packed, people murmuring and talking excitedly. All of it stopped though when the lights dimmed and the host (a stout looking woman with some sort of large ears on her head) came on to introduce people. Soon enough the recital started and you became entranced by the many dancers who flounced around on stage. They all seemed so… natural up on the stage. Your breath was completely taken away when Jimin performed though. He was practically flying on stage and the way he moved was so… graceful and fluid. All too soon he was done. He’d taken the show. All throughout the rest of the recital you were transfixed. Jimin’s dance was playing on repeat in your mind, your breath stolen and thoughts completely empty. Soon enough, the show finished up and everyone around you was cheering. Almost half-heartedly, you joined along and followed Minju and Jisoo to where the meet-up was. 

Why were you so anxious about seeing Jimin now? You were about to go on a date with him and yet all you could think about was his dance. In no time, Jimin was bouncing over in a nice suit of his own. 

How were you supposed to function? 

Not only was he the best dancer in… in the world but he was also undoubtedly the most handsome man you’d ever met. The three were talking around you but you were still transfixed. A hand gently touched your back and you jumped. 

“Are you ok, Y/n-ah?" 

It was Jimin. He was looking at you with concerned eyes and a soft smile. Minju and Jisoo were gone. You two were alone. 

"I… Yeah. You were amazing out there. I am just… speechless.”

Jimin laughed quietly, a smug smile on his face as he wrapped his arm around your waist.

“You’re ready for our date?" 

You nodded excitedly, walking out of the theater with Jimin in tow. This was going to be an amazing night. 

Dear Diary,

Tonight was AMAZING. I know I was apprehensive before about dating Jimin but OMG IT WAS SOOOO GOOD. He was such a gentleman and when we held hands I felt butterflies erupt and it just.. It felt so nice. Tonight literally couldn’t have go-

Dear Y/n’s Diary,

I promise to take good care of her. We had a great night and I plan on making her my girlfriend soon. Now if you excuse us, I need cuddles from her.

Jimin.